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Is Your Mindset Keeping You Stuck? 6 Ways to Change Your Mindset during Difficult Life Challenges

February 18, 2021 By Stephanie Leave a Comment

18 Feb

Wow, has this been one crazy past 12 months or so?! There was a lot of talk throughout last year about wanting 2020 to be over. We wanted to get past the elections. We wanted to have a vaccine for COVID. And we wanted to see the riots stop and the right changes made in the world. We thought that things would be better when that happened.

But was it? Not really.

I’ve been thinking lately about the challenges and difficulties that keep coming up in my life. There was a lot in 2020. But if I’m honest, there were a lot of challenges before 2020 as well. They were just different.

And this isn’t true for just me. Life is full of challenges for everyone. Some challenges are bigger than others. Some last longer. There are challenges that change the way you live life moving forward, and there are some that you can get past and resume life as “normal”.

Why do some people overcome and others get stuck?

There are two ways to respond when challenges come.

Get stuck in it

There are some people that face challenges in life and it overcomes them. They feel stuck in the situation, unable to move forward. It feels like life is caving in all around them.

I’ve been that person before.

When my husband and I went through marriage challenges years ago, it consumed me. It was all I could think about it. My life wasn’t going the way that I had expected it to go. There were so many obstacles ahead of me and I was unsure of what the future would look like. But for a long time, I thought, “When we can just get past this one step, things will get better.”

But it took a long time. And I’m talking years. There was a point in my life when I wondered if I would ever be able to go two days in a row without crying. I wondered if I would ever be able to move forward. I was just felt stuck in a difficult situation for years.

Take it in stride

Then there are the people that just take difficult situations in stride. They know the situation is happening, but they don’t allow it to become the only thing in their life. They don’t stay stuck in it forever.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I think there are difficult situations that can come along and consume a lot of your life for a time. Illness or death of a loved one. Relationship troubles. Financial hardships. And there are more. But we have to stop letting problems consume us. And we have to stop thinking that things will be better when a certain thing happens.

If we’re going to take that approach to life, we’re always going to be waiting for that day when things will be better, and that day will never come.

So what can we do instead?

1. Stop feeling like it’s only you

When you’re going through problems, it’s easy to think that you’re the ONLY one who has it so bad. And I don’t want to minimize whatever the situation is that you’re going through. But I also think it’s important to realize that there is nothing new under the sun at this point.

You are not the only one with problems and chance are very good that you’re not the only one with the problem that you have. It has always helped me to hear the story of someone who has went through a struggle similar to mine and came through on the other side.

It lets you know that you’re not alone and things will eventually get better.

2. Stop playing the victim role

Victim mentality is a big problem in the world right now. Everyone seems to want to be offended about something and everyone seems to think that people are out to get them.

There are real situations in the world that people are victim to. But even in those situations, we don’t have to give in and stay there. When you have a victim mentality, you constantly feel that people are against you. You think they are purposefully doing things to hurt you, wrong you, or hold you back.

Maybe some of them are. But there’s also a chance that they aren’t and you’re just playing the role.

And here’s the thing. Regardless of whether people are wronging you or not, you have the power to decide to rise above it with your actions and attitudes. But you’ll never take the step to make positive changes in your life if you continue to focus on the mindset that you’re a victim.

Choose to leave the victim mindset behind.

3. Stop waiting for the “thing” to go away

As I mentioned before, if you keep waiting for your negative or difficult situation to go away before you take action or make a change, you’re going to be waiting a long time. One difficult situation may pass but another will be on its way eventually.

And I know that might sound like I’m being negative. But it’s not that. I want you to be realistic. Life is full of hardships. We’re all people interacting with other people, which means there will be relationship struggles whether it’s with family or friends. There will be health struggles. For many, there will be financial struggles. There’s just all different kinds of difficult situations that we may face in life.

If you keep a mindset of waiting for the bad things to pass, you’re delaying action that you could be taking now. This will keep you stuck.

4. Look for what you can do RIGHT NOW

You may be in a difficult situation that you don’t have a lot of control over. But the one thing that you can still control is your attitude. Are you going to let this situation get the best of you? Are you going to be consumed by the problem? Or are you going to start to take whatever little action that you can to do something positive?

I’ve been in the place of being stuck before. When I let my problems consume me, I became depressed. It was hard to care about things like cleaning the house, cooking dinner, paying the bills, and all the other normal everyday types of tasks. I didn’t feel like I had any control over the “big thing” in my life, so I lost control of all the little things too.

Please learn from my mistake. Doing that will only make things worse, it will not make it any better.

When things started to get a little better is when I started to look at what I could do to improve my mindset and situation for the day. It started with very small things. I made my bed every morning. That was such a simple task, but it gave me one place in my house that was clean. Not my room, just my bed. But this little thing eventually started to spread to other areas.

I also put comforting and encouraging Bible verses up around the house and read them constantly. I listened to praise and worship music more. And I started to fill my head with positive things and eventually I felt a little more hopeful.

You are the only person who can choose how you think. Even if you can’t control anything else, you have the power to control your thoughts so choose them wisely.

5. Get control of your feelings and emotions

Ahh, feelings and emotions. They are such a difficult thing and they can be incredibly powerful if we allow them to.

I used to operate from the mindset that I had no control over my feelings and emotions. They were what they were and if I felt a certain way, that must be how it was.

That’s a dangerous place to be. If you struggle with feelings and emotions, please hear me out—your feelings and emotions can be liars!

Yes, you may actually feel the way that you feel, but it doesn’t mean you should be feeling that way. And if we’re not careful, we allow our feelings to control our thoughts and then our thoughts control our actions. Let’s look at a couple of examples:

  • I feel my husband is being rude to me. This puts me in a bad mood because I don’t think he has any reason to be acting the way he is. This causes me to be rude to him. I think it’s his fault. He thinks it’s my fault. Eventually, we’re arguing and don’t really know why.
  • I feel my friend is ignoring me. She has called me in three days. She must be mad at me about something. I overanalyze all our conversations and finally jump to a conclusion about why she’s mad and ignoring me. This makes me angry at her, so I don’t reach out to her either. If she’s going to be that way, it’s on her.
  • I feel afraid to get on a call with a potential client. I feel like I’m going to sound stupid and they won’t want to work with me. So, I cancel the call and try to encourage communicating through email instead. They end up finding someone else to work with and I lose out on a client I could have had.

I’m not saying that you don’t actually feel the way you do. But I am saying that you shouldn’t let however you “feel” be what’s in control of your life. You need to show your feelings where their place is and it’s not in the driver’s seat of your life.

If you allow yourself to be controlled by your emotions, you will regret it. You will say and do things in life that you shouldn’t. And you’ll experience negative and difficult situations that you don’t need to.

6. Enjoy life in the moment

Life might not look like you want it to right now. I can identify with that. I think most people can right now.

If we could wave a magic wand and change the current situation, I don’t think anyone would pass up that chance. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t things to be enjoyed right now. That doesn’t mean that there aren’t things that we can be thankful for right now.

If you’re going through a challenging time, be very intentional about seeking out the things that you enjoy. Make time to play a game with your kids, even if it’s just for 15 minutes. Take time to read that book that’s been sitting on your nightstand for months. Pick up the phone and actually call a friend just to chat.

I wasted way too many years of my life waiting for the difficult situation to go away before allowing myself to not be controlled by it. Don’t follow in my footsteps.

What’s one action you can take today to start changing your mindset?

Filed Under: Personal Growth

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Stuck in Your Rut


I'm a huge sucker for the sky. I love beautiful su
I'm a huge sucker for the sky. I love beautiful sunrises and sunsets. I love big white puffy clouds. I love the stars that pop out one by one at night and then just fill the entire dark canvas. 
 
I think it's that it reminds me of how small I am and how big God is. It's SO, SO easy for me to get caught up in the busyness or troubles of my daily life. I've been realizing more and more lately how much I focus on myself without really realizing it. And when I remember to shift my perspective back on God, it really opens my eyes up to all that is happening that is bigger than me and bigger than what's going on around me. 
 
The events of the past year have been a rollercoaster. And I listen to some of the people in my life who are so consumed by it all. The politics. The virus. The division. Sometimes I want to get all caught up in it too. 
 
But lately, my focus has shifted. God is so much bigger than the events of our day, our year, our lifetime. History has been filled with so many traumatic events. And unfortunately, we know the future will be as well. But as a Christian, I know that this is not what it's all about. There is something greater yet to come. And no matter how bad things get, God still wins in the end. 
 
I'm not sure how people get through difficult times if they don't know Jesus. I've seen the difference in my life from when I make God my focus vs focusing on the issues around me. The difference is astounding. 
 
If you're struggling today with all that's happening around you, or has in the past, I encourage you to shift your eyes toward Jesus. Look up at the heavens and know there is a God so much bigger than all of your challenges that loves you regardless of anything that you've done for Him. 
 
#godisgood #anxietyrelief #findingjoy #findingpeace #floridasunset

This past week I got back to having a morning rout
This past week I got back to having a morning routine. I woke up at 5:30 each day and I restructured how I spent the first 90 minutes of my day. 
 
I got into reading the Bible and praying. I exercised and drank water, and spent 30 minutes on doing something for my blog. 
 
It has been amazing. 
 
The stories of the Bible have come alive as I read them. I've felt better knowing I'm taking the step  to get in better shape. And I've wanted to spend time on my blog for so long but haven't made the time. 
 
My business as a content writer for mental health professionals, helping professionals and coaches has been slammed lately. It's a great blessing but it also makes time management crucial. 
 
To be honest, I've been burnt out and overwhelmed. My goal for this year was to focus on being intentional but I was failing at doing it. The changes I made this week are helping me get back to where I need to be. 
 
Self-care is so important. I write about it all the time for my clients. But here's the thing - it only helps if you do it. Knowing something and doing something are two different things. 
 
What are you doing for self-care right now? 
 
#selfcare #femaleentrepreneur #christianwomen #morningroutine #burnout #overwhelmed #intentionalliving

I find so much to be true about this quote. When w
I find so much to be true about this quote. When we allow fear to stop us from moving forward, the world seems just a little smaller. We watch what others are doing and wonder what they have that we don't. We wonder why them and not us. 
 
And when we allow fear to stop us from following that dream that God put in our hearts, we live with this feeling that there is untapped potential inside of us. We just know that there is more that we should be doing. And in waves, this feeling will come back again from time to time until we push it down and try to ignore it again. 
 
But what you didn't ignore it this time? What if you mustered up enough courage to do the thing that you've always dreamed of doing? What if you trusted God and took just that first little step? 
 
You'll never know what doors will open or how your world will expand until you try. 
 
#courage #dontletfearstopyou #trustingodsplan #womenoffaith

I believe it’s important to reflect on and learn
I believe it’s important to reflect on and learn from each year that we face. I also believe it’s important to set goals (I’ll talk more about that in a later post). But more than anything, I believe it’s important to be aware of the mindset that you have as you work through those processes.  
  
When you reflect from a place of fear and anxiety, you will remember and focus on the negative things that happened. It becomes difficult to see the good.  
  
When you only reflect on the good things, you miss important lessons that you should be learning about yourself and those around you.  
  
So, I challenge you, as you work through reflecting on 2020 and planning for 2021, make sure you’re in the right mindset. Don’t get stuck focusing on the bad, even if you have to work extra hard to find the good. I promise you that you’ll find it if you look hard enough.  
  
What were your defining moments of the year? Feel free to share in the comments. If you want to hear a little of my reflection and the difference on focusing on the good vs the bad, check out my latest blog post.  
  
#planningfor2021 #reflection #goalsetting #blogger

It hit me this afternoon. That feeling of being un
It hit me this afternoon. That feeling of being unstoppable. Let me transparent: My house is a mess, the dishes are piled up, I'm a little behind on some of my work, I'm wearing the same yoga pants that I had on yesterday and I'm not really sure what the future looks like. But I can feel it anyway—empowerment.  
  
Let me be clear on what I'm NOT talking about. I'm not talking about the abundance mindset. I'm not talking about believing my dreams into reality. To be honest, I don't buy into all that mumble jumble.  
  
What I do buy into is hard work. And confidence. And taking chances. I buy into and believe in the power of action.  
  
Somedays, like today, I get this super empowered feeling. I feel confidence sweep over me until it feels like my chest is just going to burst with excitement. That's something I probably wouldn't share with you on some days because I'd be too self-conscious to admit it to the world.  
  
But on days like today, where my confidence is rocking, I don't mind saying it. Because on days like today, I'm not worried about what everyone else will think as they read it.  
  
What I'm more concerned about is the fact that there are millions of women that don't allow themselves to experience this feeling. I'm worried about the fact that there are women who feel day in and day out like they aren't enough. Or that they can't make a difference in their own life. Or that all of the good things out there are for someone else and not for them.  
  
That's what I'm worried about today. Because I want you to have this feeling of intense determination that you can live the life you want to live. That you can be bold and confident, even if it's in a quiet and behind-the-scenes type of way.  
  
The world is a crazy mess right now. But you don't have to be. You don't have to buy into all that stress and drama. You don't have to live the way the media makes you think you do. You are powerful. You are capable. And you can be unstoppable.  
  
"For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline." - 2 Timothy 1:7  
 
#motivationforwomen #womeninspiringwomen #unstoppable #youcandoit #womenempowerment

Some days there's this mean girl that says all kin
Some days there's this mean girl that says all kinds of bad things about me. She works hard to tell me that I can't accomplish the things that I want to do. She reminds me of all my mistakes and how I don't measure up. She calls me names and points out all my imperfections. 
 
She's simply awful. 
 
She is my worst enemy on a lot of days. 
 
She's also me. It's my voice doing the talking. 
 
Self-talk is so important in life. You can have the best situation, be the most talented person, and have such a passion to do things but then that voice in your head jumps in and shuts it all down. 
 
Years ago, I started to really pay attention to the way that I thought. It was ridiculous. It didn't take long to realize that my poor thought life was taking me down a road that I didn't want to travel. But by not keeping my self-talk in check, I was going that direction any way. 
 
Your thoughts matter. What you allow yourself to think will be part of shaping how you feel and what you believe is possible. If you're always thinking bad things about yourself, or telling yourself that you "can't", then you won't. 
 
Your thoughts matter. Take control of your thoughts and you can take control of your life. 
 
That sounds simple enough, but controlling your thoughts is incredibly difficult, especially when you're just getting started. You'll spend the entire day engaged in a battle in your mind that others can't see. You'll collapse into bed at night because you are mentally exhausted from the battle for your mind. It's tiring work, but it's important. And just like with any change, if you stick with it, it will start to get easier over time. You'll have to fight less. 
 
One thing you can do to make it easier is to have a few positive things to shift your attention to when you catch yourself thinking negatively. I like to use Bible verses that remind me of who God says I am and what He says I'm capable of. 
 
Do you struggle with negative self talk? 
 
 
#motivationforwomen #selftalk #selftalkmatters #changeyourthoughtschangeyourlife #encouragementforwomen #encouragementformoms


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I'm a huge sucker for the sky. I love beautiful su I'm a huge sucker for the sky. I love beautiful sunrises and sunsets. I love big white puffy clouds. I love the stars that pop out one by one at night and then just fill the entire dark canvas. 
 
I think it's that it reminds me of how small I am and how big God is. It's SO, SO easy for me to get caught up in the busyness or troubles of my daily life. I've been realizing more and more lately how much I focus on myself without really realizing it. And when I remember to shift my perspective back on God, it really opens my eyes up to all that is happening that is bigger than me and bigger than what's going on around me. 
 
The events of the past year have been a rollercoaster. And I listen to some of the people in my life who are so consumed by it all. The politics. The virus. The division. Sometimes I want to get all caught up in it too. 
 
But lately, my focus has shifted. God is so much bigger than the events of our day, our year, our lifetime. History has been filled with so many traumatic events. And unfortunately, we know the future will be as well. But as a Christian, I know that this is not what it's all about. There is something greater yet to come. And no matter how bad things get, God still wins in the end. 
 
I'm not sure how people get through difficult times if they don't know Jesus. I've seen the difference in my life from when I make God my focus vs focusing on the issues around me. The difference is astounding. 
 
If you're struggling today with all that's happening around you, or has in the past, I encourage you to shift your eyes toward Jesus. Look up at the heavens and know there is a God so much bigger than all of your challenges that loves you regardless of anything that you've done for Him. 
 
#godisgood #anxietyrelief #findingjoy #findingpeace #floridasunset
This past week I got back to having a morning rout This past week I got back to having a morning routine. I woke up at 5:30 each day and I restructured how I spent the first 90 minutes of my day. 
 
I got into reading the Bible and praying. I exercised and drank water, and spent 30 minutes on doing something for my blog. 
 
It has been amazing. 
 
The stories of the Bible have come alive as I read them. I've felt better knowing I'm taking the step  to get in better shape. And I've wanted to spend time on my blog for so long but haven't made the time. 
 
My business as a content writer for mental health professionals, helping professionals and coaches has been slammed lately. It's a great blessing but it also makes time management crucial. 
 
To be honest, I've been burnt out and overwhelmed. My goal for this year was to focus on being intentional but I was failing at doing it. The changes I made this week are helping me get back to where I need to be. 
 
Self-care is so important. I write about it all the time for my clients. But here's the thing - it only helps if you do it. Knowing something and doing something are two different things. 
 
What are you doing for self-care right now? 
 
#selfcare #femaleentrepreneur #christianwomen #morningroutine #burnout #overwhelmed #intentionalliving
I find so much to be true about this quote. When w I find so much to be true about this quote. When we allow fear to stop us from moving forward, the world seems just a little smaller. We watch what others are doing and wonder what they have that we don't. We wonder why them and not us. 
 
And when we allow fear to stop us from following that dream that God put in our hearts, we live with this feeling that there is untapped potential inside of us. We just know that there is more that we should be doing. And in waves, this feeling will come back again from time to time until we push it down and try to ignore it again. 
 
But what you didn't ignore it this time? What if you mustered up enough courage to do the thing that you've always dreamed of doing? What if you trusted God and took just that first little step? 
 
You'll never know what doors will open or how your world will expand until you try. 
 
#courage #dontletfearstopyou #trustingodsplan #womenoffaith
I believe it’s important to reflect on and learn I believe it’s important to reflect on and learn from each year that we face. I also believe it’s important to set goals (I’ll talk more about that in a later post). But more than anything, I believe it’s important to be aware of the mindset that you have as you work through those processes.  
  
When you reflect from a place of fear and anxiety, you will remember and focus on the negative things that happened. It becomes difficult to see the good.  
  
When you only reflect on the good things, you miss important lessons that you should be learning about yourself and those around you.  
  
So, I challenge you, as you work through reflecting on 2020 and planning for 2021, make sure you’re in the right mindset. Don’t get stuck focusing on the bad, even if you have to work extra hard to find the good. I promise you that you’ll find it if you look hard enough.  
  
What were your defining moments of the year? Feel free to share in the comments. If you want to hear a little of my reflection and the difference on focusing on the good vs the bad, check out my latest blog post.  
  
#planningfor2021 #reflection #goalsetting #blogger
It hit me this afternoon. That feeling of being un It hit me this afternoon. That feeling of being unstoppable. Let me transparent: My house is a mess, the dishes are piled up, I'm a little behind on some of my work, I'm wearing the same yoga pants that I had on yesterday and I'm not really sure what the future looks like. But I can feel it anyway—empowerment.  
  
Let me be clear on what I'm NOT talking about. I'm not talking about the abundance mindset. I'm not talking about believing my dreams into reality. To be honest, I don't buy into all that mumble jumble.  
  
What I do buy into is hard work. And confidence. And taking chances. I buy into and believe in the power of action.  
  
Somedays, like today, I get this super empowered feeling. I feel confidence sweep over me until it feels like my chest is just going to burst with excitement. That's something I probably wouldn't share with you on some days because I'd be too self-conscious to admit it to the world.  
  
But on days like today, where my confidence is rocking, I don't mind saying it. Because on days like today, I'm not worried about what everyone else will think as they read it.  
  
What I'm more concerned about is the fact that there are millions of women that don't allow themselves to experience this feeling. I'm worried about the fact that there are women who feel day in and day out like they aren't enough. Or that they can't make a difference in their own life. Or that all of the good things out there are for someone else and not for them.  
  
That's what I'm worried about today. Because I want you to have this feeling of intense determination that you can live the life you want to live. That you can be bold and confident, even if it's in a quiet and behind-the-scenes type of way.  
  
The world is a crazy mess right now. But you don't have to be. You don't have to buy into all that stress and drama. You don't have to live the way the media makes you think you do. You are powerful. You are capable. And you can be unstoppable.  
  
"For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline." - 2 Timothy 1:7  
 
#motivationforwomen #womeninspiringwomen #unstoppable #youcandoit #womenempowerment
Some days there's this mean girl that says all kin Some days there's this mean girl that says all kinds of bad things about me. She works hard to tell me that I can't accomplish the things that I want to do. She reminds me of all my mistakes and how I don't measure up. She calls me names and points out all my imperfections. 
 
She's simply awful. 
 
She is my worst enemy on a lot of days. 
 
She's also me. It's my voice doing the talking. 
 
Self-talk is so important in life. You can have the best situation, be the most talented person, and have such a passion to do things but then that voice in your head jumps in and shuts it all down. 
 
Years ago, I started to really pay attention to the way that I thought. It was ridiculous. It didn't take long to realize that my poor thought life was taking me down a road that I didn't want to travel. But by not keeping my self-talk in check, I was going that direction any way. 
 
Your thoughts matter. What you allow yourself to think will be part of shaping how you feel and what you believe is possible. If you're always thinking bad things about yourself, or telling yourself that you "can't", then you won't. 
 
Your thoughts matter. Take control of your thoughts and you can take control of your life. 
 
That sounds simple enough, but controlling your thoughts is incredibly difficult, especially when you're just getting started. You'll spend the entire day engaged in a battle in your mind that others can't see. You'll collapse into bed at night because you are mentally exhausted from the battle for your mind. It's tiring work, but it's important. And just like with any change, if you stick with it, it will start to get easier over time. You'll have to fight less. 
 
One thing you can do to make it easier is to have a few positive things to shift your attention to when you catch yourself thinking negatively. I like to use Bible verses that remind me of who God says I am and what He says I'm capable of. 
 
Do you struggle with negative self talk? 
 
 
#motivationforwomen #selftalk #selftalkmatters #changeyourthoughtschangeyourlife #encouragementforwomen #encouragementformoms
Fall has always been my favorite season. I love th Fall has always been my favorite season. I love the colors on the trees, trips to the apple cider for homemade doughnuts, and the crisp air in the morning. 
 
Beautiful, sunny, fall days are some of my favorite days. 
 
But when October hits, it can steal some of my enjoyment of the season. You see, October brings about the beginning of the 4th quarter of the year. It's a time to reflect on what I've accomplished—or didn't accomplish— during the first 3 quarters. 
 
And it's a time to force myself to get realistic about what I can actually accomplish before the clock strikes midnight on New Year's Eve. Most years, I'm not where I want to be for hitting the final quarter of the year. 
 
But this year, I'm excited for the final sprint of the year. I'm excited to see what I can accomplish in a year that was full of so many challenges and difficult times. 
 
And it's not that I've done anything amazing this year compared to other years. It's just that I'm changing my focus and perspective. 
 
What areas of your life do you need to change your focus on in order to reclaim some of the joy in your life? 
 
#choosehappiness #changeyourperspective #4thquarter #October #femaleentrepreneur #finishstrong
Are you stressed? Do you have days where you feel Are you stressed? Do you have days where you feel like this year is too much to handle? Are you trying to figure out what's wrong with you and why you just can't focus on what you need to? 
 
It's not just you. 
 
I'm hearing this from friends and family. I'm seeing it with my clients and picking up on it from social media posts. 
 
Don't feel like you're alone. It doesn't mean there is something wrong with you. It just means you are a human living through what's likely one of the most challenging years that you've had. 
 
2020 just seems to pile it on and many of us were already stressed in 2019 and before. 
 
Take a deep breath.  Cry if you need to. Then spend a few minutes doing something you enjoy that recharges you. Pray. Laugh.  Rest. 
 
It will be OK, even if it doesn't feel like it right now. 
 
 

#encouragementfortheday #stress #encouragementforwomen #selfcare #

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