There we were sitting by the water, eating dinner, and talking. No interruptions. No having to cut food into tiny pieces. No having to run to the restroom multiple times with each child. No having to get up a million times to pick up a sippy cup or toy that has been thrown down. It was just me and my husband sitting down to an enjoyable dinner out.
We had traveled from Michigan to Florida for a 3 night getaway (including our drive time). At home we used babysitters typically to watch our girls while we worked, but rarely did we take the time out of our busy lives to date each other. We sat there sharing our appetizer, looking at each other, and enjoying a drink. I was glad that I had taken the time to change my clothes, put on a little makeup, and leave my hair down the way my husband likes.
As we sat there across from each other something wonderful began to happen. We began to talk to each other. And not the typical “how was your day” or “guess what the kids did today” kind of conversation. We began to really share and dream with each other.
We started discussing what we wanted to see in the future, where we would live if we could muster up the courage to move away from home, what business ideas we would like to start. We were really listening to each other and being open with our ideas and thoughts.
We laughed with each other and enjoyed each other’s company. We took the time to do silly things that we normally wouldn’t, like sit in the giant beach chair outside of the restaurant. It was a wonderful night and rejuvenated us for heading back at the end of the trip to all the roles that we fill in our lives.
We had heard the advice to have a date night every week. As much as we want to make that happen, the reality is that my husband and I had allowed life and busyness to get in the way. But on those days when we do sneak away for a chance to be just husband and wife again, I am always reminded of the importance.
I don’t think anyone tries to let being a mommy take over being wife, but somehow it fights its way in there anyway. I’m not saying that being a mommy isn’t important, but I think too many women put being a mother over being a wife. This leaves a lot of children having a poor example of marriage the way God designed it and a lot of frustrated husbands.
I know many people are in the same situation as us, money and time is tight. Trying to figure out a weekly date night sounds pretty much impossible. Even if you are in this place, there are other ways that you can make sure you are enjoying your husband and showing him you are still his wife and not just the mother of his children.
- Think about what your husband enjoys and then be a part of it. For example, my husband enjoys playing video games. So, some nights once we put the kids to bed we play together. I can’t tell you how many hours we have spent fighting zombies together. You should have seen his face when I told him I really liked my video game girl’s outfit!
- Shave your legs and wear some sexy underwear. I think most of us know that men are visual, so, give him something to look at. And, I know I am always more likely to take this step when I shave my legs.
- When no one else is in the room with you and your husband surprise him with a little playful touching.
- Spend some time talking to your husband and dreaming. Let him share his dreams and don’t be negative about them. Sometimes I have the tendency to think of all the reasons an idea wouldn’t work instead of just dreaming and helping think of a way that it could work
- Eat dinner just the two of you. Some days my husband gets home late, so I feed the kids early and wait to eat with him. I get the kids put to bed and then we eat just the two of us where we can talk and spend time together
- If you can get a babysitter sneak away for a few hours. Sometimes we have a blast just going to the store together when we don’t have the kids with us. If money is tight then pay the babysitter for a few hours and find something free to do together. Give geocaching a try
- Think about what you use to do together before getting married or before the kids were born and then go and do those things again
- Force yourself to put off the stress for a while and enjoy time with your man. Don’t talk about work or bills or stressful situations or the honey do list.
That night in Florida when we left the restaurant my husband commented on how great it was that I had become his “fun wife” for the night instead of being “mommy”. It was the best compliment I had received in a while and it was a great reminder of what my husband needs from me… a fun and supportive wife, not a mommy.
What ways do you show your husband you aren’t just a “mommy”?