Stuck In Your Rut

  • Home
  • Areas of Focus
    • Personal Growth
    • Self-Care
    • Balancing Home Life
  • Success Stories
  • Resources
  • About
  • Contact Me
    • Contact
    • Share Your Story

How to Escape a Rut and How it Can Change Your Life

May 29, 2018 By Stephanie 2 Comments

29 May

Guest post from Christina Paruag of FemEvolve

In 2016, I found myself facing a terrifying discovery – I was in a rut, and there seemed to be no way out. I was off of university and couldn’t work due to severe health complications. These complications then seeped into my relationships, showing me who would stick around and who would leave. My relationship at the time was crumbling, my family had shifted, and I ended up moving between houses four times in the year that followed. It felt like an actual nightmare where I woke up one morning and everything in my life changed. In reality, these changes were occurring for months, I just wasn’t aware. The toughest part about this is that I was just at the beginning of launching my business – a women’s health and wellness magazine called FemEvolve that I started to help other women not have to face the same health struggles that I did for years.

These health complications were endometriosis, ruptured ovarian cysts and kidney infections. The endometriosis started when I was only 9 years old and became more apparent after my first period at age 12. By the time I hit university, my stress levels peaked, my diet wasn’t as healthy as I truly thought it was. I began feeling lost and confused as to why I was in such a significant amount of pain. My periods left me on the floor for days, vomiting and crying until the pain subsided.

Eventually I was staying in bed for three weeks at a time, following my courses using online handouts and struggling to keep up. My grades dropped, and I felt like a failure. I was always a high achieving student and had amazing grades, and suddenly everything changed. Once I got a bit better and started working full-time, the endometriosis made it impossible to keep up and I would frequently call in sick. On top of the pain that can be described as being worse than childbirth, I was having frequent migraines, colds, chronic fatigue and sciatica-related pains.

I slowly started integrating yoga and meditation into my life which helped but didn’t rid me of the pain. I also eliminated dairy and gluten from my diet, and I had a surgery which helped for about six months. Soon after, the pain came back, but I learned how to manage it to be able to go to school and work for those three painful weeks every month.

I eventually started doing pelvic floor physiotherapy and laser therapy which helped immensely. By the end of 2016, I was so caught up in taking care of my body that I neglected my relationships and didn’t see how everything was unfolding. Two of my aunts passed away within just weeks of each other at this time, which left me feeling very emotional, and both sides of my family were affected. I also got diagnosed with a kidney infection – one that turned into about four infections, one near death experience and a continuous cycle of doctors proclaiming, “This looks like an infection, you have all the symptoms, but the tests show nothing.” I took 10 rounds of antibiotics, damaging my liver and my immune system, only to find out later on that the last few infections weren’t truly infections, but rather scar tissue from the endometriosis affecting my bladder. I almost lost my left kidney due to this.

I woke up one morning in tears, thinking about how disappointed I was with how my life was going, and I thought about how I could change it. When I was in the hospital, I made a list of everything I wanted to improve on. I wanted to learn as much about business as I could, do some sort of personal development each day such as reading or listening to a podcast, keep up with learning languages (at the time it was French), go back to singing which I had enjoyed for years, maintain my diet and get back into the gym without injuring myself.

That morning when I woke up, I remembered that list and pulled it up on my phone and started doing everything I had listed. I developed a morning routine – early morning yoga and meditation, followed by a 30 min run/jog with my puppy at the time. I had moved to a new place, so I wasn’t as concerned about anyone judging me based on how I was running. I then ate breakfast while listening to a podcast. The rest of the day, I immersed myself in business resources, I read personal development books, language books and I started looking into networking opportunities.

This one-day practice led to a continuous routine that I would keep and only alter the time of day depending on my schedule for that particular day. I was amazed at what happened next. My network expanded, and I met tons of like-minded men and women who loved my business idea and were there for support and collaborations.

I felt healthier than ever and met a nutritionist who helped me (and still does) with balancing my hormones through diet. I was able to return to school in January 2017 and I can gratefully say I’ll be graduating in just a few weeks. I started working a full-time job, sometimes 60+ hours a week and I managed the endometriosis and my pain.

Now I’m working a different job part-time, while focusing on my business the rest of the time. I also enrolled in singing classes and had the chance to sing on a stage after years just a few months ago. I was introduced to the world of public speaking and I’m now starting to share my story with more people as well as educate them about the importance of managing stress.

Being in a rut was one of the best things that ever happened to me, because I made the conscious decision to learn from it and pushed myself to grow, even if it felt uncomfortable. I’m really proud of how far I’ve come from that lost and uncertain woman that I was not too long ago. I feel strong, confident and motivated to be the best version of myself, and to help others do the same. You can do it too, and I want to share a few simple steps to do that.

1. Recognize where you are

Take some quiet time to sit and reflect on where you are in your life. Are you happy with your health? Your finances? Your friendships and relationship? What do you want to change? Who can help you in changing these things? By identifying these areas of your life and how you feel emotionally about each one, you can start to develop a plan to move you from where you are, to where you want to be.

2. Build your toolkit of resources

Just as I had used resources for personal development, you may need to do the same to get that push to keep going. Find books that resonate with you. Some of my current favourites are the 5 Second Rule by Mel Robbins and You Are a Badass by Jen Sincero. Also look for online resources like podcasts and YouTube videos. I loved watching Ellen DeGeneres, which made me laugh a lot, and I listened to Tony Robbins, to remind me that I have it in me to keep going, no matter what life throws my way.

3. Ask for help

Change is something that will require external help, you can’t do it all on your own. Look for those in different industries that can help you. Maybe it’s a business mentor, a life coach, a therapist or a nutritionist.

4. Getting out of a rut isn’t an overnight process

In my case, I didn’t wake up one morning and everything changed. It took months, and lots of dedication and hard work. Don’t be hard on yourself if you forget to keep up a part of your routine or you feel down on a certain day. Just make the decision to keep going. Making small steps toward a goal will fuel you to keep going.

Now that you have some steps in place, make your list of the habits you would like to keep up, and do your best to stick to them. I promise that with consistent effort, you can and will get out of a rut, and live your life to the fullest.

 

About Christina

Christina Paruag is the CEO/Founder and Editor-in-Chief of FemEvolve. She’s currently also a breast cancer researcher at Sunnybrook Health Sciences Centre in Toronto, Canada. Christina is an advocate for women’s health which shines through in FemEvolve, a publication she launched in January 2018 that focuses on discussing women’s health and wellness from a scientific standpoint and living a balanced-life overall. This digital and print magazine opens up the dialogue about taboo topics and self-love to help women feel more confident in their inner and outer beauty and abilities.

Filed Under: Personal Growth, Share Your Story

Previous Post: « Teach Your Children the Way to Follow Their Dreams
Next Post: Quit Asking “Why?” and Start Asking This Question Instead »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Rob Campbell says

    July 18, 2018 at 8:33 pm

    Good writing. that was inspirational

    Reply
  2. John Gatesby says

    July 22, 2020 at 9:30 am

    When I started reading your article, I felt bad and sorry for you but as I progressed that empathy turned into admiration and in the end, I was filled with optimism and happiness.

    You really took the bull by the horns and emerged a clear winner! Kudos!

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar

About Stuck in Your Rut

Wondering who I am and what this site is all about? Find out here.

Let’s Connect

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest

Latest on Instagram

stuckinyourrut

Stuck in Your Rut - Stephanie


Today has been a terrible, horrible, no good, very
Today has been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. 

Some days are like that.

And sometimes those days are our fault.

My day was caused by a toxic client. As much as I would like to blame her, I take responsibility because I knew from the beginning that I never should have worked with her.

When we go down paths we shouldn't go down, we usually have painful consequences.

Several valuable lessons were learned today and I would like to share them so I don't have to relearn them again in the future and maybe I can spare you some future pain too.

1. Be careful when doing business with people whose values don't align with yours

2. When you feel you should get out of a situation, do not delay

3. Never do any type of work that leaves you feeling your values were compromised

4. Toxic people can play nice... for awhile... But their true colors will always show through in the end

5. Trust your instincts

6. When you turn a situation over to God, it doesn't mean the way out will be pain free

And finally remember, some days feel like terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days, but it doesn't have to stay like that.

Happy Friday!

I've been pondering this a lot in the past week.


I've been pondering this a lot in the past week.

I do a lot of work in the mental health space. I believe in the benefits of therapy and medication as needed. 

But as I help people share this message that "therapy is for everyone," I'm starting to wonder if we are spreading the wrong message.

Yes therapy can be for everyone. And there are some people who absolutely need the support and guidance of mental health professionals. But does everyone actually need therapy to be mentally well? 

That seems to be the trend we have taken as society.

Therapy can play an important role in helping people heal and live healthy, but are we becoming too dependent on believing we ALL need therapy? Have we lost the ability to process through difficult situations on our own or with our own support system?

I'm not sure. I'm still pondering. But I would love to hear your thoughts.


We see what we look for.

In our first house, we h
We see what we look for.

In our first house, we had beautiful sunrises and sunsets over farm fields. A few years ago we lived by the ocean where we saw stunning sunsets regularly over the water. 

Beautiful sunrises and sunsets is one the things I've missed since living in a neighborhood in a suburb of Louisville Kentucky. The trees around us block out most of these beautiful moments every morning and night.

I was up early this morning and decided to sit outside and enjoy the cooler air and I had the opportunity to watch an incredible sunrise from this small little section.

It reminded me that we often get what we look for in life. If you want to see all the bad, you will. If you look for the good, you can find it. And just because we don't see good things happening at every moment (like I don't usually see the sunrises) doesn't mean they aren't still happening all around us.

#thankfulgratefulblessed #tuesdaythoughts #beencouraged


Wow! So true.

I came across this incredible remi
Wow! So true. 

I came across this incredible reminder in an email today from @lysaterkeurst and @proverbs31ministires.

Yesterday was a rough day. I got myself into a difficult conversation with someone and ended up saying things that I regret out of my frustration.

Too many times in life I have allowed my emotions to get the best of me which never ends in me feeling better than I did in the beginning. Carefully planned words are ALWAYS better than speaking in the heat of the moment.

Sometimes we need to say difficult things to people, but we can choose to do it out of love instead of frustration and anger.

So, I cannot control the actions of others or many details of this specific situation, but I can control my words in the midst of it, and I can control how much power I allow the situation to have over my life.

Sharing in case my failure can help anyone else do better.

#workinprogress #stilllearning


The power of our minds and the way we choose to th
The power of our minds and the way we choose to think is amazing!

A couple weeks ago on vacation, we had the chance to hold a baby alligator. There were grown people on the boat who were terrified to sit next to a person holding the alligator. Then there were those, like Macy, who took advantage of a new opportunity and gave it a go.

If we really think about it, this is exactly what happens in life too. Some people are too afraid to take a risk and try something new when the opportunity comes and others are willing to give it a try. 

Some are afraid to let their friends and family try a new adventure because their own fear is so strong so they discourage them from doing the thing even if that person really wants to try it.

Our minds and our thoughts are so incredibly powerful but the good news is that we get to choose our thoughts and actions. A new situation may feel scary, but that doesn't mean you can't choose to move past that fear and try something new.

#tryingnewthings #overcomingfear #chooseyourthoughts

Have you ever thought about how a click of a camer
Have you ever thought about how a click of a camera button has the ability to capture a moment in time? Pretty amazing!

We always make a point to take pictures of the big moments or the things we do when we travel, like our day trip to Nashville yesterday.

But there are so many day-to-day moments that make my heart happy too, like seeing my daughters cooking dinner (which they choose to do a lot - blessed mom right here!) or when my husband is helping the girls build garden planters for our veggies. I need to make an effort to take pictures of these moments more so I can be reminded of these simple joys. The days seem long but the years are going fast!

What is something you see in day-to-day life that brings you joy?

Do you ever just wish you had a quiet moment alone
Do you ever just wish you had a quiet moment alone?

I loved this little bit of time I had on our Tennessee vacation, sitting on the porch swing listening to the rain.

I'm guilty of filling my day too full and trying to do too much and tiring myself out.

This morning I was reminded of Luke 5:7 "But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed."

It's important to be intentional about creating space to withdrawal and pray.

Some days it looks and sounds pretty. Most days, it's finding the one quiet place in my house. All that matters is that we do it.

How do you talk about and think about yourself?

Y
How do you talk about and think about yourself?

Yesterday I had the pleasure of chatting with several different women. I'm getting ready to write website profiles for them and wanted to learn more about them.

I noticed something that got me thinking during one of the calls. 

I asked the question "Who do you enjoy working with?"

The woman gave me a long list of the people she didn't feel qualified to help. She shared her heart for people but would then explain the areas she felt she was lacking. 

I'm sure she didn't realize she was doing this. I know I struggle with doing the same thing. It's so easy to spot in other people what we miss in ourselves. 

So, how do you think and talk about yourself? Do you focus on where you are lacking and where you don't feel "good enough" or qualified? Or, do you acknowledge your skills and strengths? 

We all have areas we can grow and improve but we are unproductive when those are the main areas we focus on.

#focusonyourstrengths #thoughtlife #positivethinking #buildconfidence


I was reading the book Friendship - It's Complicat
I was reading the book Friendship - It's Complicated by @andiandrew this morning and came across the saying "healed people heal people." It really struck me.

I've heard many times the old saying "hurting people hurt people" but this simple switch made it so different. 

It made me really reflect on my actions, words, and behaviors to see if I was helping or hurting others. It made me think about what areas of my life I needed to walk in healing so I could help bring others along.

I also love the way this shifted from the negative to the positive. "Hurting people hurt people" can be used as an excuse if you've experienced pain in your life. "Healed people heal people" is so much more of a calling to rise up out of painful situations to make a positive difference. It gives your hurtful experiences and pain a new purpose. 

Just something to think about.

#encouragement #movepastyourpast #womensupportingwomen

Let's talk about meerkats for a minute—stick wit
Let's talk about meerkats for a minute—stick with me here.  
 
On Thursday, I took my kids to the zoo for a few hours. We've had an exhausting couple of weeks. Things haven't gone as planned. Work has been hectic and I've been working long hours. We're in the middle of trying to make some big life decisions again (which seems to be the constant state of life).  
 
Can you relate?  
 
The zoo is one of our happy places, so we picked the warmest day of the week and took some time off to get outside and enjoy ourselves.  
 
Some of my favorite animals to watch at the zoo are the meerkats. 
 
If you ever watch a gang of meerkats, you'll probably notice that there is almost always one meerkat that is standing up checking the skies and looking around while the others are off doing their thing. Why? 
 
That meerkat is watching for danger. They are checking the skies and surrounding areas for predators. They remain alert in order to allow the others to find food and do what they need to do. 
 
On this trip, I could relate to that poor little meerkat standing up, not enjoying herself in order to try to protect her family—not realizing they are safe from predators. As a wife and mom, I think that instinct comes pretty naturally to us women. I've been so caught up lately in trying to figure out how to balance what the different members of my family need that it's been harder to enjoy the good things in each day.  
 
But I'm not a meerkat. There really aren't predators circling around me, trying to get my family. Yes, there are dangers in this world, but when that's all I focus on, that's all I see. I miss all of the good things that are taking place and the positive moments I could be enjoying. 
 
So, if you can relate to that little meerkat too, here's your reminder to take a break. Be present in the moment.

There are hard parenting days - which we've had qu
There are hard parenting days - which we've had quite a bit of lately - and then there are the days when your kid surprises you with a homemade card. 

The world is full of scary, hard things right now and it's easy when you focus on those things to forget all the good that is right around you.

I'm getting started so I can be organized and on m
I'm getting started so I can be organized and on my game for 2022 thanks to help from my new planner by @christybwright

Sometimes we feel stuck in life because of things
Sometimes we feel stuck in life because of things that are within our control.

You can't control what others do to you... but you can control what you choose to do after that. If you're holding onto unforgiveness towards someone, it's going to seep into all areas of your life.

Being easily offended and staying offended and angry gives things outside of your control power over you, your day, and your attitude.

If you're tired of not making progress in life and often feel angry, I encourage you to look inward. Sometimes I'm caught off guard by the things I thought I had dealt with and moved on from that I didn't.

#movingforward #dontbeeasilyoffended #inspiration #armorofgodstudy

There are few things I find as beautiful in nature
There are few things I find as beautiful in nature as a tree with fall colors on a bright sunny day. ❤️🍁

#fallcolors🍁🍂 #louisvillezoo

It can be so hard to ask for things that we want.
It can be so hard to ask for things that we want. The fear of the "what ifs" always want to get in the way. But what if we change our thoughts and expect the best instead of assuming the worst?

My dad has been an incredible example of just asking. He doesn't overthink asking questions to people and because of it, he learns all kinds of cool things. He doesn't worry about if the person says "no" or responds negatively. He doesn't let fear stop him. 

Over the years, my husband and I have learned to ask for things we want. We asked for work from a church without knowing if they would be interested. We asked to barter handyman services and home repair in exchange for lower rent. 

We've asked for some weird things that don't seem like they should have worked out, but they did. And we would have never had those opportunities if we hadn't been willing to ask for them.

Are there questions you've been avoiding asking out of fear?

This.

It's so easy to avoid growth and change bec
This.

It's so easy to avoid growth and change because it's uncomfortable and painful. But so many times the life we want is on the other side.

#motivation #thursdaythoughts #growthmindset #growingpains #pushpastthehardthings


What if you don't wait to get started until everyt
What if you don't wait to get started until everything is perfect? What would that look like? 
 
I'm giving you a sneak peek into what my incredible workspace looks like today 😜 
 
Today I have a few calls so I'm working with my messy bed as my desk so I can have a quiet space. Sometimes I work from my kitchen counter. My family of 5 lives in a small rental house right now. I don't have any space for an office, but I'm running a growing business by working like this. 
 
If I had waited to get started until I "knew everything" or had the perfect setup, I would have wasted the last 5 years. If I had waited until I "knew just a little more" or felt a "little more ready", I still wouldn't be doing anything. Even after 5 years, I still have LOTS to learn but I'm so much further along because I took the step of getting started.
 
It sucks to hear, but you have to get started before you're "ready". That's just the way it works. Don't let your circumstances get in your way. And - this might sound tough but - stop making excuses. Look for a way to make it work as best you can right now. 
 
 
 
#getstarted #femaleentrepreneur #makeitwork #midweekmotivation #takeachance #mompreneur #homeschoolingentrepreneur #overcomefear #buildyourconfidence

This quote rings so true to me. A little over 4 ye
This quote rings so true to me. A little over 4 years ago, I had such little confidence. I let fear control so much of what I did.

I was working to grow my freelance business and almost skipped an opportunity to take on work because the potential client wanted to schedule a phone call instead of just working through emails and messages. I broke out in hives just having to talk on the phone.

I couldn't handle ordering a pizza because I was too nervous about not knowing what to say. I overthought everything.

Fear controlled what I did and didn't do. It caused me to struggle in my thoughts and postponed my ability to go after the things I really wanted to accomplish.

Learning to overcome my fears took a lot of time. But slowly, I started to make progress. They were little changes at a time. I didn't even notice the growth as it happened. 

But then one day, that same client pointed out to me how much more confidence I had. And then another client mentioned how much I had grown in my confidence and ability to share my thoughts and opinions.

It ended up impacting every area of my life. 

But don't get me wrong, some days are still a struggle. Sometimes I still get hives when I have to talk on the phone or do a zoom call with someone I don't know, but not every time.

If you struggle with fear and confidence, know that you can improve and grow in this area. It doesn't have to be how you remain for the rest of your life. And so much of what you want is on the other side of pushing past that fear.

#overcomefear #buildconfidence #personalgrowth #growthmindset #motivationalquotes

Isn't it so easy to be happy and positive when you
Isn't it so easy to be happy and positive when you're on vacation? This picture is from over the summer when we did a mini vacation. It's easy when you get out of the routines of everyday life to start to think outside of the box and see new opportunities. 
 
But then we get back home. Clients need my attention. The house needs to be cleaned and dinner needs to be cooked. The kids have activities. And before I know it, I've fallen right back into going through the motions instead of really living each day. 
 
Here's your reminder for the day. I know it's Monday and it's easy to drag through the day. But choose to get outside of your comfort zone. Choose to look at things in a new way. Choose to start building the life you want to live, even if it's one tiny decision at a time. 
 
#mondaymotivation

Don't wait for the fear to go away. It's not going
Don't wait for the fear to go away. It's not going to. Choose courage and push past it and just watch as your confidence starts to build.


Load More...



Follow on Instagram


Browse by Category

  • Balancing Home Life
  • Business
  • Disney
  • Personal Growth
  • Self-Care
  • Share Your Story
  • Uncategorized

Copyright © 2023 ·Refined Theme · Genesis Framework by StudioPress · WordPress · Log in