Ok, this might come across a little harsh, but I think it’s important to say—QUIT ACTING LIKE YOU AREN’T GOOD AT ANYTHING! There I said it. This is a common trend that I notice in people, especially women. I think there are several different reasons we act like this, but it honestly doesn’t matter, we need to stop.
Why you act like you aren’t good at anything
So, here are the reasons why I think we do this. Feel free to comment and let me know if you agree, disagree, or have thought of another reason that should be added:
We’re embarrassed or concerned about what others think
We are afraid that if we admit that we are talented or skilled at something there will be someone else that doesn’t agree. Then, in our heads, we think that we will look foolish because we put ourselves out there and someone looked down on us.
Solution – Quit caring what other people think! Stop judging yourself by what other people think about you or say about you. Honestly, many times when we think that someone is judging us they aren’t even paying attention to us. And, if you have someone that does say something mean to you then you probably shouldn’t worry about their opinion anyway.
We are striving for perfection
Are you perfect at whatever it is you want to do? No, and you are lying if you say that you are. We should always be learning and striving to get better and grow in the areas where we are talented. But, that doesn’t mean that we don’t have talent or aren’t good at whatever that thing is we like to do. If you are waiting to be “perfect” or “the best” at whatever you do before you admit that you are good at it, then that day is never going to come.
Solution – Accept that you might never be the best at it, but it doesn’t mean that you aren’t good at it.
We are comparing ourselves to others
There are two things that typically happen when we compare ourselves to others: either we knock ourselves down or we knock the other person down. We need to stop the comparisons. This ties in with above and not having to be “the best” or “perfect”. It can be easy to think we aren’t good at anything when we are constantly seeing how we stack up against people that are more skilled than we are.
Solution – Stop seeing how you compare with everyone else in order to admit what your talents are. Focus on yourself.
We think we are being humble
If you think that saying you aren’t good at something means you are being humble you need to think again. I think that Rick Warren said it best, “Humility is not denying your strengths it’s being honest about your weaknesses.” Jesus was confident and humble. Did he go around saying “No, I’m not good at that.” Nope.
Solution – Don’t be afraid to admit that you are good at something, but don’t brag yourself up either. Realize that you have both things you are good at and things you aren’t.
God gave you strengths – accept them
Guess what. God gave everyone strengths and skills. We don’t all have the same ones, but I can assure you that you do have them. They may be hard to spot if you have spent years talking negatively to yourself or trying to hide them, but I’m guessing that deep down you know what they are.
If you are a mother think of it this way, do you want your children to believe they aren’t good at anything? Unless you are a horrible mother (which I’m guessing you aren’t) the answer is “of course not”. You want your children to recognize the areas where they are talented and develop them. It would actually hurt me to hear my daughters saying they aren’t good at something when I can see that it is an area that God made them strong in. This is how God feels when you deny the strengths and talents that he blessed you with.
Wondering what you are good at?
If you are seriously struggling to find what you are good at, ask yourself the following questions:
- What do you enjoy doing?
- What do you do that comes almost effortless to you?
- What gives you energy when you do it?
- Where do others tend to compliment you (even if you try to deny it)?
Look for where your God-given strengths and passions combine and there you will find your place.