Stuck In Your Rut

  • Home
  • Areas of Focus
    • Personal Growth
    • Self-Care
    • Balancing Home Life
  • Success Stories
  • Resources
  • About
  • Contact Me
    • Contact
    • Share Your Story

How to Reflect on 2020 with the Right Mindset

December 29, 2020 By Stephanie Leave a Comment

29 Dec

I’m sure this isn’t the first post you’ve read like this. It’s the popular time of year for people to start reviewing and reflecting on the events of the year in order to set goals for the new year. And with a year like 2020, there is a lot to reflect on and think about as we move forward.

I’ve heard so many people say that we shouldn’t be moving forward from this year like it never happened, and I completely agree with that belief.

However, 2020 may feel like a challenge to reflect on and remember. I’ve heard the year described in all kinds of different ways. One of my favorites is a “dumpster fire”. That felt pretty accurate at different moments throughout the year.

It’s safe to say that 2020 was not the year that anyone anticipated it to be. But the way that we choose to reflect on and remember this year is going to make a big difference in how we choose to move forward. Here’s my personal example.

My 2020 story

You’ll get a kick out of this. Here’s my Instagram picture and caption from January 1, 2020.

moving past 2020

It was a beautiful morning. My husband and I sat out at Apollo Beach in Florida which was about 10 minutes away from our house. We listened to the water gently lapping on the shore while we dreamed and planned for the year. It was a new year and a new decade and it was going to be amazing.

Well… y’all know what happened after that in the world, but here’s a little more of my own story.

2020 started with a bang

2020 started with bedbugs! That’s right. That’s something most people probably wouldn’t admit, but I’m too tired to care about your judgment right now.

In November, I kept noticing these bumps on my daughter. We went to the doctor twice—nothing. Had the pest control company out to the house—nothing. And then 2020 started and we found a dang little bedbug in the hallway, which ended up being an entire house infestation (and I still believe they must have been in the rental house when we moved in but that’s neither here nor there now).

I’m super cheap and didn’t want to spend the thousands of dollars that the pest control company wanted to handle it for us, so we tackled it on our own. Long story short… it was a nightmare. We spent money. We spent time. And we lived with many of our belongings in trash bags in the garage for months. Not fun, especially when you have three kids. But eventually, we won that battle.

But before it ended…

Coronavirus hit. My hypochondriac 13-year-old daughter caught whiff of the coronavirus story before I did. She was worried about it when it started showing up in January with reports from China. I assured her it wouldn’t be a big deal. Oops! Obviously, I was wrong.

We went into lockdown in March along with the rest of the world.

My husband’s uncle ended up hospitalized for almost 2 months with COVID including weeks on a ventilator before turning the corner, recovering, and being able to come home.

And while I could tell you a bunch of stories from that time in lockdown in a new state that we still weren’t that familiar with, I won’t. We all had our crazy COVID stories from 2020 and to be honest, I’m tired of talking about it and hearing about it.

And then we moved…

Because why wouldn’t we move out of state in the middle of a global pandemic? We had lived in Florida for 11 months before moving back to Kentucky, but it’s not like you think. We LOVED Florida and still do. But we felt the need to be closer to family during that time. We made it back in August which was just in time to be able to travel back to Michigan over the period of the next several months for important family events including my aunt’s funeral.

Moving is hard. Losing a family member is hard. 2020 was hard. And that’s an understatement.

There is just no denying it. This has been a rough year. And I’m one of the lucky ones. Yes, we experienced loss and disappointment and changed plans. But not like some people.

My 2020 story – revised

So, let me tell my 2020 story in a different way.

We started 2020 at the beach in a state that we had worked to move to for years. My husband had a good job and I was in the process of really starting to brand and grow my business. Things were going well.

In February, we got an awesome discount on tickets to Epcot from the homeschooling group that my daughters were a part of. It was freezing cold that day, but we had a blast and created amazing memories.

And speaking of the homeschool group, my daughters were getting to be part of some fun things because we were finally getting settled into our new home. One of them was learning guitar, another taking art lessons, and the youngest was loving being in gymnastics.

When the community shut down because of COVID, we reconnected with the church that we enjoyed attending in Kentucky by listening to sermons online. Throughout the year I got to have some incredible conversations with my oldest daughter and really saw a lot of positive growth in her life.

When people were missing connection, I started doing weekly Zoom calls with three friends that I’ve known since childhood. And, my family started doing weekly Zoom calls with my parents and sister’s family in Michigan. We played games and had baking competitions even though we lived states apart. We were connecting with people more in those few months than we had in quite a while.

While we loved living in Florida, we felt the need to be closer to family. We are blessed enough to have family that we enjoy being with and decided for the time being we wanted to live closer. I’m blessed to work for myself, and my husband previously owned a company in Kentucky, which made our move back a little easier. We even moved back into our old rental house, so we settled in quickly.

Our move to Kentucky enabled us to travel to Michigan several times. We attended my brother-in-law’s wedding, my cousin’s wedding, and Christmas with our families where we learned that we were expecting a new niece or nephew.

I had the most successful year in business that I’ve had so far. And I’m excited for 2021.

Look at the difference between the two stories

All of those things are true. All of those things made up my 2020, along with many other good and bad moments.

Look at the difference that our thoughts can have on us.

If I choose to focus on the first 2020 story and all of the things that went wrong in the year, I would be depressed. And I know that’s true because I went through stages of doing that this year. I got all caught up in following the news headlines. First, it was coronavirus. Next, it was the rioting. We had helicopters circling our neighborhood in Florida because of protesting and then moved to Louisville, KY right in time for the downtown area to be under curfew because of riots. And then we wrapped it up with ridiculous politics.

When I focused on all of that, I was overwhelmed, scared, fearful, and shut down. I wasn’t productive in any area of my life because fear and negativity were controlling me. My husband and daughters didn’t get the best of me. My clients didn’t get the best of me. No one did because you can’t offer your best self when you are living in fear, anxiety, and overwhelm.

But when I chose to focus on the good things, or to at least keep the bad things in perspective, it changed the narrative. I started to grow again and feel like myself again.

It’s all about what you choose to focus on

What about your 2020 story? I believe it’s important to reflect on and learn from each year that we face. I also believe it’s important to set goals (I’ll talk more about that in a later post). But more than anything, I believe it’s important to be aware of the mindset that you have as you work through those processes.

When you reflect from a place of fear and anxiety, you will remember and focus on the negative things that happened. It becomes difficult to see the good.

When you only reflect on the good things, you miss important lessons that you should be learning about yourself and those around you.

So, I challenge you, as you work through reflecting on 2020 and planning for 2021, make sure you’re in the right mindset. Don’t get stuck focusing on the bad, even if you have to work extra hard to find the good. I promise you that you’ll find it if you look hard enough.

What were your defining moments of the year? Feel free to share in the comments.

Filed Under: Personal Growth

Previous Post: « 5 Reasons Every Woman Should Step Out of Her Comfort Zone
Next Post: Is Your Mindset Keeping You Stuck? 6 Ways to Change Your Mindset during Difficult Life Challenges »

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar

About Stuck in Your Rut

Wondering who I am and what this site is all about? Find out here.

Let’s Connect

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest

Latest on Instagram

stuckinyourrut

Stuck in Your Rut - Stephanie


Have you ever thought about how a click of a camer
Have you ever thought about how a click of a camera button has the ability to capture a moment in time? Pretty amazing!

We always make a point to take pictures of the big moments or the things we do when we travel, like our day trip to Nashville yesterday.

But there are so many day-to-day moments that make my heart happy too, like seeing my daughters cooking dinner (which they choose to do a lot - blessed mom right here!) or when my husband is helping the girls build garden planters for our veggies. I need to make an effort to take pictures of these moments more so I can be reminded of these simple joys. The days seem long but the years are going fast!

What is something you see in day-to-day life that brings you joy?

How do you talk about and think about yourself?

Y
How do you talk about and think about yourself?

Yesterday I had the pleasure of chatting with several different women. I'm getting ready to write website profiles for them and wanted to learn more about them.

I noticed something that got me thinking during one of the calls. 

I asked the question "Who do you enjoy working with?"

The woman gave me a long list of the people she didn't feel qualified to help. She shared her heart for people but would then explain the areas she felt she was lacking. 

I'm sure she didn't realize she was doing this. I know I struggle with doing the same thing. It's so easy to spot in other people what we miss in ourselves. 

So, how do you think and talk about yourself? Do you focus on where you are lacking and where you don't feel "good enough" or qualified? Or, do you acknowledge your skills and strengths? 

We all have areas we can grow and improve but we are unproductive when those are the main areas we focus on.

#focusonyourstrengths #thoughtlife #positivethinking #buildconfidence


I was reading the book Friendship - It's Complicat
I was reading the book Friendship - It's Complicated by @andiandrew this morning and came across the saying "healed people heal people." It really struck me.

I've heard many times the old saying "hurting people hurt people" but this simple switch made it so different. 

It made me really reflect on my actions, words, and behaviors to see if I was helping or hurting others. It made me think about what areas of my life I needed to walk in healing so I could help bring others along.

I also love the way this shifted from the negative to the positive. "Hurting people hurt people" can be used as an excuse if you've experienced pain in your life. "Healed people heal people" is so much more of a calling to rise up out of painful situations to make a positive difference. It gives your hurtful experiences and pain a new purpose. 

Just something to think about.

#encouragement #movepastyourpast #womensupportingwomen

Let's talk about meerkats for a minute—stick wit
Let's talk about meerkats for a minute—stick with me here.  
 
On Thursday, I took my kids to the zoo for a few hours. We've had an exhausting couple of weeks. Things haven't gone as planned. Work has been hectic and I've been working long hours. We're in the middle of trying to make some big life decisions again (which seems to be the constant state of life).  
 
Can you relate?  
 
The zoo is one of our happy places, so we picked the warmest day of the week and took some time off to get outside and enjoy ourselves.  
 
Some of my favorite animals to watch at the zoo are the meerkats. 
 
If you ever watch a gang of meerkats, you'll probably notice that there is almost always one meerkat that is standing up checking the skies and looking around while the others are off doing their thing. Why? 
 
That meerkat is watching for danger. They are checking the skies and surrounding areas for predators. They remain alert in order to allow the others to find food and do what they need to do. 
 
On this trip, I could relate to that poor little meerkat standing up, not enjoying herself in order to try to protect her family—not realizing they are safe from predators. As a wife and mom, I think that instinct comes pretty naturally to us women. I've been so caught up lately in trying to figure out how to balance what the different members of my family need that it's been harder to enjoy the good things in each day.  
 
But I'm not a meerkat. There really aren't predators circling around me, trying to get my family. Yes, there are dangers in this world, but when that's all I focus on, that's all I see. I miss all of the good things that are taking place and the positive moments I could be enjoying. 
 
So, if you can relate to that little meerkat too, here's your reminder to take a break. Be present in the moment.

There are hard parenting days - which we've had qu
There are hard parenting days - which we've had quite a bit of lately - and then there are the days when your kid surprises you with a homemade card. 

The world is full of scary, hard things right now and it's easy when you focus on those things to forget all the good that is right around you.

Sometimes we feel stuck in life because of things
Sometimes we feel stuck in life because of things that are within our control.

You can't control what others do to you... but you can control what you choose to do after that. If you're holding onto unforgiveness towards someone, it's going to seep into all areas of your life.

Being easily offended and staying offended and angry gives things outside of your control power over you, your day, and your attitude.

If you're tired of not making progress in life and often feel angry, I encourage you to look inward. Sometimes I'm caught off guard by the things I thought I had dealt with and moved on from that I didn't.

#movingforward #dontbeeasilyoffended #inspiration #armorofgodstudy

There are few things I find as beautiful in nature
There are few things I find as beautiful in nature as a tree with fall colors on a bright sunny day. ❤️🍁

#fallcolors🍁🍂 #louisvillezoo

It can be so hard to ask for things that we want.
It can be so hard to ask for things that we want. The fear of the "what ifs" always want to get in the way. But what if we change our thoughts and expect the best instead of assuming the worst?

My dad has been an incredible example of just asking. He doesn't overthink asking questions to people and because of it, he learns all kinds of cool things. He doesn't worry about if the person says "no" or responds negatively. He doesn't let fear stop him. 

Over the years, my husband and I have learned to ask for things we want. We asked for work from a church without knowing if they would be interested. We asked to barter handyman services and home repair in exchange for lower rent. 

We've asked for some weird things that don't seem like they should have worked out, but they did. And we would have never had those opportunities if we hadn't been willing to ask for them.

Are there questions you've been avoiding asking out of fear?

This.

It's so easy to avoid growth and change bec
This.

It's so easy to avoid growth and change because it's uncomfortable and painful. But so many times the life we want is on the other side.

#motivation #thursdaythoughts #growthmindset #growingpains #pushpastthehardthings


What if you don't wait to get started until everyt
What if you don't wait to get started until everything is perfect? What would that look like? 
 
I'm giving you a sneak peek into what my incredible workspace looks like today 😜 
 
Today I have a few calls so I'm working with my messy bed as my desk so I can have a quiet space. Sometimes I work from my kitchen counter. My family of 5 lives in a small rental house right now. I don't have any space for an office, but I'm running a growing business by working like this. 
 
If I had waited to get started until I "knew everything" or had the perfect setup, I would have wasted the last 5 years. If I had waited until I "knew just a little more" or felt a "little more ready", I still wouldn't be doing anything. Even after 5 years, I still have LOTS to learn but I'm so much further along because I took the step of getting started.
 
It sucks to hear, but you have to get started before you're "ready". That's just the way it works. Don't let your circumstances get in your way. And - this might sound tough but - stop making excuses. Look for a way to make it work as best you can right now. 
 
 
 
#getstarted #femaleentrepreneur #makeitwork #midweekmotivation #takeachance #mompreneur #homeschoolingentrepreneur #overcomefear #buildyourconfidence

This quote rings so true to me. A little over 4 ye
This quote rings so true to me. A little over 4 years ago, I had such little confidence. I let fear control so much of what I did.

I was working to grow my freelance business and almost skipped an opportunity to take on work because the potential client wanted to schedule a phone call instead of just working through emails and messages. I broke out in hives just having to talk on the phone.

I couldn't handle ordering a pizza because I was too nervous about not knowing what to say. I overthought everything.

Fear controlled what I did and didn't do. It caused me to struggle in my thoughts and postponed my ability to go after the things I really wanted to accomplish.

Learning to overcome my fears took a lot of time. But slowly, I started to make progress. They were little changes at a time. I didn't even notice the growth as it happened. 

But then one day, that same client pointed out to me how much more confidence I had. And then another client mentioned how much I had grown in my confidence and ability to share my thoughts and opinions.

It ended up impacting every area of my life. 

But don't get me wrong, some days are still a struggle. Sometimes I still get hives when I have to talk on the phone or do a zoom call with someone I don't know, but not every time.

If you struggle with fear and confidence, know that you can improve and grow in this area. It doesn't have to be how you remain for the rest of your life. And so much of what you want is on the other side of pushing past that fear.

#overcomefear #buildconfidence #personalgrowth #growthmindset #motivationalquotes

Isn't it so easy to be happy and positive when you
Isn't it so easy to be happy and positive when you're on vacation? This picture is from over the summer when we did a mini vacation. It's easy when you get out of the routines of everyday life to start to think outside of the box and see new opportunities. 
 
But then we get back home. Clients need my attention. The house needs to be cleaned and dinner needs to be cooked. The kids have activities. And before I know it, I've fallen right back into going through the motions instead of really living each day. 
 
Here's your reminder for the day. I know it's Monday and it's easy to drag through the day. But choose to get outside of your comfort zone. Choose to look at things in a new way. Choose to start building the life you want to live, even if it's one tiny decision at a time. 
 
#mondaymotivation

Don't wait for the fear to go away. It's not going
Don't wait for the fear to go away. It's not going to. Choose courage and push past it and just watch as your confidence starts to build.

This is a constant area of struggle for me. I've a
This is a constant area of struggle for me. I've always struggled with being an "all or nothing" kind of person. I'll go all-in on getting my life in order to work on all the areas at once. I overwhelm myself with too much and before I know it, all the wonderful things I decided to do fall by the wayside. Anyone else?

My eyes were opened to this when I was working with a coach, Suzy Wraines, last year. Since then, I've been a lot better at picking one thing to work on and focusing on it until it became part of my routine. Then I add in a little more. 

Am I always awesome at it? Nope. But I've made a lot more progress in my personal life and business by focusing on one thing at a time. 

What's the one thing you can start to focus on today? And what can you let go of for a time while you focus on something else? 

#itsnotallornothing #onethingatatime #youcandoit #motivationforwomen

Sometimes I fall into the trap of waiting for fear
Sometimes I fall into the trap of waiting for fear to go away before I do the things I want to do but am scared to. But it never happens.

Every time I do something big and exciting, or take a step in obedience, there is fear. And it doesn't go away, you just have to learn to push through. Sometimes it means taking a small step and sometimes it means taking a big step. But either way, it REQUIRES taking a step. 

What is fear stopping you from taking action on? 

#overcomefear #doingbigthings #youcandoit #onestepatatime

Every good experience and time of growth in my lif
Every good experience and time of growth in my life has come by forcing myself to face fear. It doesn't feel good in the moment. In fact, it feels really horrible sometimes. But if we let our feelings control our decisions, we'll never reach the true potential that we have. And we'll always be left wondering "What if I had...". 

#faceyourfears #inspirationalquote  #christianwomen #getreadytogrow

Easier said than done. The more I talk with women,
Easier said than done. The more I talk with women, the more I hear the stories of hidden dreams and ideas that are not being worked on. There are all this hidden potential within these women and they long to go after that thing that they really want to do, but they don't. They let the fear, the doubt, the feeling "not good enough" get in the way and hold them back.

Why not pursue the thing you want to do? Why not you? Why should it always be someone else that's going after what you want to do. Why can't today be the day that you decide to take that first step forward? 

You can do it. 

#motivationforwomen #inspirationalquote

When I was growing up there were these books that
When I was growing up there were these books that I loved—Choose Your Own Adventure. The book would start telling a story where you were the main character. Throughout the book, you would be faced with decisions on what the character was going to do. 

You would turn to a certain page number based on your decision and then continue reading. It was like you were making the story happen as it went, even though the author actually had it all pre-mapped out for you.

I believe that's how life is supposed to be. It's an adventure with many winding paths and choices along the way. If you're bored with your life, if you feel that there is more that you're capable of than what you're doing, if you feel you settled somewhere along the way—you're not truly living that adventure. 

I share more about this on the blog today, but here's a story for you to write....

"One day I read a blog post and it really got me thinking. There was an idea that has always nagged at me. An idea that I should do this certain thing. Try this certain thing. A feeling within me that there was more to life than just going through the motions. I wanted to believe that it was possible for things to be different but I had a choice to make. "

• Keep life the same as always - (Continue doing what you've always done)
• Head out on an adventure - (Take that one small step today that's going to get you started.) 

Now you've got to ask yourself: What page are you going to turn to?

I'm a huge sucker for the sky. I love beautiful su
I'm a huge sucker for the sky. I love beautiful sunrises and sunsets. I love big white puffy clouds. I love the stars that pop out one by one at night and then just fill the entire dark canvas. 
 
I think it's that it reminds me of how small I am and how big God is. It's SO, SO easy for me to get caught up in the busyness or troubles of my daily life. I've been realizing more and more lately how much I focus on myself without really realizing it. And when I remember to shift my perspective back on God, it really opens my eyes up to all that is happening that is bigger than me and bigger than what's going on around me. 
 
The events of the past year have been a rollercoaster. And I listen to some of the people in my life who are so consumed by it all. The politics. The virus. The division. Sometimes I want to get all caught up in it too. 
 
But lately, my focus has shifted. God is so much bigger than the events of our day, our year, our lifetime. History has been filled with so many traumatic events. And unfortunately, we know the future will be as well. But as a Christian, I know that this is not what it's all about. There is something greater yet to come. And no matter how bad things get, God still wins in the end. 
 
I'm not sure how people get through difficult times if they don't know Jesus. I've seen the difference in my life from when I make God my focus vs focusing on the issues around me. The difference is astounding. 
 
If you're struggling today with all that's happening around you, or has in the past, I encourage you to shift your eyes toward Jesus. Look up at the heavens and know there is a God so much bigger than all of your challenges that loves you regardless of anything that you've done for Him. 
 
#godisgood #anxietyrelief #findingjoy #findingpeace #floridasunset

This past week I got back to having a morning rout
This past week I got back to having a morning routine. I woke up at 5:30 each day and I restructured how I spent the first 90 minutes of my day. 
 
I got into reading the Bible and praying. I exercised and drank water, and spent 30 minutes on doing something for my blog. 
 
It has been amazing. 
 
The stories of the Bible have come alive as I read them. I've felt better knowing I'm taking the step  to get in better shape. And I've wanted to spend time on my blog for so long but haven't made the time. 
 
My business as a content writer for mental health professionals, helping professionals and coaches has been slammed lately. It's a great blessing but it also makes time management crucial. 
 
To be honest, I've been burnt out and overwhelmed. My goal for this year was to focus on being intentional but I was failing at doing it. The changes I made this week are helping me get back to where I need to be. 
 
Self-care is so important. I write about it all the time for my clients. But here's the thing - it only helps if you do it. Knowing something and doing something are two different things. 
 
What are you doing for self-care right now? 
 
#selfcare #femaleentrepreneur #christianwomen #morningroutine #burnout #overwhelmed #intentionalliving


Load More...



Follow on Instagram


Browse by Category

  • Balancing Home Life
  • Business
  • Disney
  • Personal Growth
  • Self-Care
  • Share Your Story
  • Uncategorized

Copyright © 2022 ·Refined Theme · Genesis Framework by StudioPress · WordPress · Log in