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How to Reflect on 2020 with the Right Mindset

December 29, 2020 By Stephanie Leave a Comment

29 Dec

I’m sure this isn’t the first post you’ve read like this. It’s the popular time of year for people to start reviewing and reflecting on the events of the year in order to set goals for the new year. And with a year like 2020, there is a lot to reflect on and think about as we move forward.

I’ve heard so many people say that we shouldn’t be moving forward from this year like it never happened, and I completely agree with that belief.

However, 2020 may feel like a challenge to reflect on and remember. I’ve heard the year described in all kinds of different ways. One of my favorites is a “dumpster fire”. That felt pretty accurate at different moments throughout the year.

It’s safe to say that 2020 was not the year that anyone anticipated it to be. But the way that we choose to reflect on and remember this year is going to make a big difference in how we choose to move forward. Here’s my personal example.

My 2020 story

You’ll get a kick out of this. Here’s my Instagram picture and caption from January 1, 2020.

moving past 2020

It was a beautiful morning. My husband and I sat out at Apollo Beach in Florida which was about 10 minutes away from our house. We listened to the water gently lapping on the shore while we dreamed and planned for the year. It was a new year and a new decade and it was going to be amazing.

Well… y’all know what happened after that in the world, but here’s a little more of my own story.

2020 started with a bang

2020 started with bedbugs! That’s right. That’s something most people probably wouldn’t admit, but I’m too tired to care about your judgment right now.

In November, I kept noticing these bumps on my daughter. We went to the doctor twice—nothing. Had the pest control company out to the house—nothing. And then 2020 started and we found a dang little bedbug in the hallway, which ended up being an entire house infestation (and I still believe they must have been in the rental house when we moved in but that’s neither here nor there now).

I’m super cheap and didn’t want to spend the thousands of dollars that the pest control company wanted to handle it for us, so we tackled it on our own. Long story short… it was a nightmare. We spent money. We spent time. And we lived with many of our belongings in trash bags in the garage for months. Not fun, especially when you have three kids. But eventually, we won that battle.

But before it ended…

Coronavirus hit. My hypochondriac 13-year-old daughter caught whiff of the coronavirus story before I did. She was worried about it when it started showing up in January with reports from China. I assured her it wouldn’t be a big deal. Oops! Obviously, I was wrong.

We went into lockdown in March along with the rest of the world.

My husband’s uncle ended up hospitalized for almost 2 months with COVID including weeks on a ventilator before turning the corner, recovering, and being able to come home.

And while I could tell you a bunch of stories from that time in lockdown in a new state that we still weren’t that familiar with, I won’t. We all had our crazy COVID stories from 2020 and to be honest, I’m tired of talking about it and hearing about it.

And then we moved…

Because why wouldn’t we move out of state in the middle of a global pandemic? We had lived in Florida for 11 months before moving back to Kentucky, but it’s not like you think. We LOVED Florida and still do. But we felt the need to be closer to family during that time. We made it back in August which was just in time to be able to travel back to Michigan over the period of the next several months for important family events including my aunt’s funeral.

Moving is hard. Losing a family member is hard. 2020 was hard. And that’s an understatement.

There is just no denying it. This has been a rough year. And I’m one of the lucky ones. Yes, we experienced loss and disappointment and changed plans. But not like some people.

My 2020 story – revised

So, let me tell my 2020 story in a different way.

We started 2020 at the beach in a state that we had worked to move to for years. My husband had a good job and I was in the process of really starting to brand and grow my business. Things were going well.

In February, we got an awesome discount on tickets to Epcot from the homeschooling group that my daughters were a part of. It was freezing cold that day, but we had a blast and created amazing memories.

And speaking of the homeschool group, my daughters were getting to be part of some fun things because we were finally getting settled into our new home. One of them was learning guitar, another taking art lessons, and the youngest was loving being in gymnastics.

When the community shut down because of COVID, we reconnected with the church that we enjoyed attending in Kentucky by listening to sermons online. Throughout the year I got to have some incredible conversations with my oldest daughter and really saw a lot of positive growth in her life.

When people were missing connection, I started doing weekly Zoom calls with three friends that I’ve known since childhood. And, my family started doing weekly Zoom calls with my parents and sister’s family in Michigan. We played games and had baking competitions even though we lived states apart. We were connecting with people more in those few months than we had in quite a while.

While we loved living in Florida, we felt the need to be closer to family. We are blessed enough to have family that we enjoy being with and decided for the time being we wanted to live closer. I’m blessed to work for myself, and my husband previously owned a company in Kentucky, which made our move back a little easier. We even moved back into our old rental house, so we settled in quickly.

Our move to Kentucky enabled us to travel to Michigan several times. We attended my brother-in-law’s wedding, my cousin’s wedding, and Christmas with our families where we learned that we were expecting a new niece or nephew.

I had the most successful year in business that I’ve had so far. And I’m excited for 2021.

Look at the difference between the two stories

All of those things are true. All of those things made up my 2020, along with many other good and bad moments.

Look at the difference that our thoughts can have on us.

If I choose to focus on the first 2020 story and all of the things that went wrong in the year, I would be depressed. And I know that’s true because I went through stages of doing that this year. I got all caught up in following the news headlines. First, it was coronavirus. Next, it was the rioting. We had helicopters circling our neighborhood in Florida because of protesting and then moved to Louisville, KY right in time for the downtown area to be under curfew because of riots. And then we wrapped it up with ridiculous politics.

When I focused on all of that, I was overwhelmed, scared, fearful, and shut down. I wasn’t productive in any area of my life because fear and negativity were controlling me. My husband and daughters didn’t get the best of me. My clients didn’t get the best of me. No one did because you can’t offer your best self when you are living in fear, anxiety, and overwhelm.

But when I chose to focus on the good things, or to at least keep the bad things in perspective, it changed the narrative. I started to grow again and feel like myself again.

It’s all about what you choose to focus on

What about your 2020 story? I believe it’s important to reflect on and learn from each year that we face. I also believe it’s important to set goals (I’ll talk more about that in a later post). But more than anything, I believe it’s important to be aware of the mindset that you have as you work through those processes.

When you reflect from a place of fear and anxiety, you will remember and focus on the negative things that happened. It becomes difficult to see the good.

When you only reflect on the good things, you miss important lessons that you should be learning about yourself and those around you.

So, I challenge you, as you work through reflecting on 2020 and planning for 2021, make sure you’re in the right mindset. Don’t get stuck focusing on the bad, even if you have to work extra hard to find the good. I promise you that you’ll find it if you look hard enough.

What were your defining moments of the year? Feel free to share in the comments.

Filed Under: Personal Growth

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Stuck in Your Rut


I'm a huge sucker for the sky. I love beautiful su
I'm a huge sucker for the sky. I love beautiful sunrises and sunsets. I love big white puffy clouds. I love the stars that pop out one by one at night and then just fill the entire dark canvas. 
 
I think it's that it reminds me of how small I am and how big God is. It's SO, SO easy for me to get caught up in the busyness or troubles of my daily life. I've been realizing more and more lately how much I focus on myself without really realizing it. And when I remember to shift my perspective back on God, it really opens my eyes up to all that is happening that is bigger than me and bigger than what's going on around me. 
 
The events of the past year have been a rollercoaster. And I listen to some of the people in my life who are so consumed by it all. The politics. The virus. The division. Sometimes I want to get all caught up in it too. 
 
But lately, my focus has shifted. God is so much bigger than the events of our day, our year, our lifetime. History has been filled with so many traumatic events. And unfortunately, we know the future will be as well. But as a Christian, I know that this is not what it's all about. There is something greater yet to come. And no matter how bad things get, God still wins in the end. 
 
I'm not sure how people get through difficult times if they don't know Jesus. I've seen the difference in my life from when I make God my focus vs focusing on the issues around me. The difference is astounding. 
 
If you're struggling today with all that's happening around you, or has in the past, I encourage you to shift your eyes toward Jesus. Look up at the heavens and know there is a God so much bigger than all of your challenges that loves you regardless of anything that you've done for Him. 
 
#godisgood #anxietyrelief #findingjoy #findingpeace #floridasunset

This past week I got back to having a morning rout
This past week I got back to having a morning routine. I woke up at 5:30 each day and I restructured how I spent the first 90 minutes of my day. 
 
I got into reading the Bible and praying. I exercised and drank water, and spent 30 minutes on doing something for my blog. 
 
It has been amazing. 
 
The stories of the Bible have come alive as I read them. I've felt better knowing I'm taking the step  to get in better shape. And I've wanted to spend time on my blog for so long but haven't made the time. 
 
My business as a content writer for mental health professionals, helping professionals and coaches has been slammed lately. It's a great blessing but it also makes time management crucial. 
 
To be honest, I've been burnt out and overwhelmed. My goal for this year was to focus on being intentional but I was failing at doing it. The changes I made this week are helping me get back to where I need to be. 
 
Self-care is so important. I write about it all the time for my clients. But here's the thing - it only helps if you do it. Knowing something and doing something are two different things. 
 
What are you doing for self-care right now? 
 
#selfcare #femaleentrepreneur #christianwomen #morningroutine #burnout #overwhelmed #intentionalliving

I find so much to be true about this quote. When w
I find so much to be true about this quote. When we allow fear to stop us from moving forward, the world seems just a little smaller. We watch what others are doing and wonder what they have that we don't. We wonder why them and not us. 
 
And when we allow fear to stop us from following that dream that God put in our hearts, we live with this feeling that there is untapped potential inside of us. We just know that there is more that we should be doing. And in waves, this feeling will come back again from time to time until we push it down and try to ignore it again. 
 
But what you didn't ignore it this time? What if you mustered up enough courage to do the thing that you've always dreamed of doing? What if you trusted God and took just that first little step? 
 
You'll never know what doors will open or how your world will expand until you try. 
 
#courage #dontletfearstopyou #trustingodsplan #womenoffaith

I believe it’s important to reflect on and learn
I believe it’s important to reflect on and learn from each year that we face. I also believe it’s important to set goals (I’ll talk more about that in a later post). But more than anything, I believe it’s important to be aware of the mindset that you have as you work through those processes.  
  
When you reflect from a place of fear and anxiety, you will remember and focus on the negative things that happened. It becomes difficult to see the good.  
  
When you only reflect on the good things, you miss important lessons that you should be learning about yourself and those around you.  
  
So, I challenge you, as you work through reflecting on 2020 and planning for 2021, make sure you’re in the right mindset. Don’t get stuck focusing on the bad, even if you have to work extra hard to find the good. I promise you that you’ll find it if you look hard enough.  
  
What were your defining moments of the year? Feel free to share in the comments. If you want to hear a little of my reflection and the difference on focusing on the good vs the bad, check out my latest blog post.  
  
#planningfor2021 #reflection #goalsetting #blogger

It hit me this afternoon. That feeling of being un
It hit me this afternoon. That feeling of being unstoppable. Let me transparent: My house is a mess, the dishes are piled up, I'm a little behind on some of my work, I'm wearing the same yoga pants that I had on yesterday and I'm not really sure what the future looks like. But I can feel it anyway—empowerment.  
  
Let me be clear on what I'm NOT talking about. I'm not talking about the abundance mindset. I'm not talking about believing my dreams into reality. To be honest, I don't buy into all that mumble jumble.  
  
What I do buy into is hard work. And confidence. And taking chances. I buy into and believe in the power of action.  
  
Somedays, like today, I get this super empowered feeling. I feel confidence sweep over me until it feels like my chest is just going to burst with excitement. That's something I probably wouldn't share with you on some days because I'd be too self-conscious to admit it to the world.  
  
But on days like today, where my confidence is rocking, I don't mind saying it. Because on days like today, I'm not worried about what everyone else will think as they read it.  
  
What I'm more concerned about is the fact that there are millions of women that don't allow themselves to experience this feeling. I'm worried about the fact that there are women who feel day in and day out like they aren't enough. Or that they can't make a difference in their own life. Or that all of the good things out there are for someone else and not for them.  
  
That's what I'm worried about today. Because I want you to have this feeling of intense determination that you can live the life you want to live. That you can be bold and confident, even if it's in a quiet and behind-the-scenes type of way.  
  
The world is a crazy mess right now. But you don't have to be. You don't have to buy into all that stress and drama. You don't have to live the way the media makes you think you do. You are powerful. You are capable. And you can be unstoppable.  
  
"For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline." - 2 Timothy 1:7  
 
#motivationforwomen #womeninspiringwomen #unstoppable #youcandoit #womenempowerment

Some days there's this mean girl that says all kin
Some days there's this mean girl that says all kinds of bad things about me. She works hard to tell me that I can't accomplish the things that I want to do. She reminds me of all my mistakes and how I don't measure up. She calls me names and points out all my imperfections. 
 
She's simply awful. 
 
She is my worst enemy on a lot of days. 
 
She's also me. It's my voice doing the talking. 
 
Self-talk is so important in life. You can have the best situation, be the most talented person, and have such a passion to do things but then that voice in your head jumps in and shuts it all down. 
 
Years ago, I started to really pay attention to the way that I thought. It was ridiculous. It didn't take long to realize that my poor thought life was taking me down a road that I didn't want to travel. But by not keeping my self-talk in check, I was going that direction any way. 
 
Your thoughts matter. What you allow yourself to think will be part of shaping how you feel and what you believe is possible. If you're always thinking bad things about yourself, or telling yourself that you "can't", then you won't. 
 
Your thoughts matter. Take control of your thoughts and you can take control of your life. 
 
That sounds simple enough, but controlling your thoughts is incredibly difficult, especially when you're just getting started. You'll spend the entire day engaged in a battle in your mind that others can't see. You'll collapse into bed at night because you are mentally exhausted from the battle for your mind. It's tiring work, but it's important. And just like with any change, if you stick with it, it will start to get easier over time. You'll have to fight less. 
 
One thing you can do to make it easier is to have a few positive things to shift your attention to when you catch yourself thinking negatively. I like to use Bible verses that remind me of who God says I am and what He says I'm capable of. 
 
Do you struggle with negative self talk? 
 
 
#motivationforwomen #selftalk #selftalkmatters #changeyourthoughtschangeyourlife #encouragementforwomen #encouragementformoms


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I'm a huge sucker for the sky. I love beautiful su I'm a huge sucker for the sky. I love beautiful sunrises and sunsets. I love big white puffy clouds. I love the stars that pop out one by one at night and then just fill the entire dark canvas. 
 
I think it's that it reminds me of how small I am and how big God is. It's SO, SO easy for me to get caught up in the busyness or troubles of my daily life. I've been realizing more and more lately how much I focus on myself without really realizing it. And when I remember to shift my perspective back on God, it really opens my eyes up to all that is happening that is bigger than me and bigger than what's going on around me. 
 
The events of the past year have been a rollercoaster. And I listen to some of the people in my life who are so consumed by it all. The politics. The virus. The division. Sometimes I want to get all caught up in it too. 
 
But lately, my focus has shifted. God is so much bigger than the events of our day, our year, our lifetime. History has been filled with so many traumatic events. And unfortunately, we know the future will be as well. But as a Christian, I know that this is not what it's all about. There is something greater yet to come. And no matter how bad things get, God still wins in the end. 
 
I'm not sure how people get through difficult times if they don't know Jesus. I've seen the difference in my life from when I make God my focus vs focusing on the issues around me. The difference is astounding. 
 
If you're struggling today with all that's happening around you, or has in the past, I encourage you to shift your eyes toward Jesus. Look up at the heavens and know there is a God so much bigger than all of your challenges that loves you regardless of anything that you've done for Him. 
 
#godisgood #anxietyrelief #findingjoy #findingpeace #floridasunset
This past week I got back to having a morning rout This past week I got back to having a morning routine. I woke up at 5:30 each day and I restructured how I spent the first 90 minutes of my day. 
 
I got into reading the Bible and praying. I exercised and drank water, and spent 30 minutes on doing something for my blog. 
 
It has been amazing. 
 
The stories of the Bible have come alive as I read them. I've felt better knowing I'm taking the step  to get in better shape. And I've wanted to spend time on my blog for so long but haven't made the time. 
 
My business as a content writer for mental health professionals, helping professionals and coaches has been slammed lately. It's a great blessing but it also makes time management crucial. 
 
To be honest, I've been burnt out and overwhelmed. My goal for this year was to focus on being intentional but I was failing at doing it. The changes I made this week are helping me get back to where I need to be. 
 
Self-care is so important. I write about it all the time for my clients. But here's the thing - it only helps if you do it. Knowing something and doing something are two different things. 
 
What are you doing for self-care right now? 
 
#selfcare #femaleentrepreneur #christianwomen #morningroutine #burnout #overwhelmed #intentionalliving
I find so much to be true about this quote. When w I find so much to be true about this quote. When we allow fear to stop us from moving forward, the world seems just a little smaller. We watch what others are doing and wonder what they have that we don't. We wonder why them and not us. 
 
And when we allow fear to stop us from following that dream that God put in our hearts, we live with this feeling that there is untapped potential inside of us. We just know that there is more that we should be doing. And in waves, this feeling will come back again from time to time until we push it down and try to ignore it again. 
 
But what you didn't ignore it this time? What if you mustered up enough courage to do the thing that you've always dreamed of doing? What if you trusted God and took just that first little step? 
 
You'll never know what doors will open or how your world will expand until you try. 
 
#courage #dontletfearstopyou #trustingodsplan #womenoffaith
I believe it’s important to reflect on and learn I believe it’s important to reflect on and learn from each year that we face. I also believe it’s important to set goals (I’ll talk more about that in a later post). But more than anything, I believe it’s important to be aware of the mindset that you have as you work through those processes.  
  
When you reflect from a place of fear and anxiety, you will remember and focus on the negative things that happened. It becomes difficult to see the good.  
  
When you only reflect on the good things, you miss important lessons that you should be learning about yourself and those around you.  
  
So, I challenge you, as you work through reflecting on 2020 and planning for 2021, make sure you’re in the right mindset. Don’t get stuck focusing on the bad, even if you have to work extra hard to find the good. I promise you that you’ll find it if you look hard enough.  
  
What were your defining moments of the year? Feel free to share in the comments. If you want to hear a little of my reflection and the difference on focusing on the good vs the bad, check out my latest blog post.  
  
#planningfor2021 #reflection #goalsetting #blogger
It hit me this afternoon. That feeling of being un It hit me this afternoon. That feeling of being unstoppable. Let me transparent: My house is a mess, the dishes are piled up, I'm a little behind on some of my work, I'm wearing the same yoga pants that I had on yesterday and I'm not really sure what the future looks like. But I can feel it anyway—empowerment.  
  
Let me be clear on what I'm NOT talking about. I'm not talking about the abundance mindset. I'm not talking about believing my dreams into reality. To be honest, I don't buy into all that mumble jumble.  
  
What I do buy into is hard work. And confidence. And taking chances. I buy into and believe in the power of action.  
  
Somedays, like today, I get this super empowered feeling. I feel confidence sweep over me until it feels like my chest is just going to burst with excitement. That's something I probably wouldn't share with you on some days because I'd be too self-conscious to admit it to the world.  
  
But on days like today, where my confidence is rocking, I don't mind saying it. Because on days like today, I'm not worried about what everyone else will think as they read it.  
  
What I'm more concerned about is the fact that there are millions of women that don't allow themselves to experience this feeling. I'm worried about the fact that there are women who feel day in and day out like they aren't enough. Or that they can't make a difference in their own life. Or that all of the good things out there are for someone else and not for them.  
  
That's what I'm worried about today. Because I want you to have this feeling of intense determination that you can live the life you want to live. That you can be bold and confident, even if it's in a quiet and behind-the-scenes type of way.  
  
The world is a crazy mess right now. But you don't have to be. You don't have to buy into all that stress and drama. You don't have to live the way the media makes you think you do. You are powerful. You are capable. And you can be unstoppable.  
  
"For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline." - 2 Timothy 1:7  
 
#motivationforwomen #womeninspiringwomen #unstoppable #youcandoit #womenempowerment
Some days there's this mean girl that says all kin Some days there's this mean girl that says all kinds of bad things about me. She works hard to tell me that I can't accomplish the things that I want to do. She reminds me of all my mistakes and how I don't measure up. She calls me names and points out all my imperfections. 
 
She's simply awful. 
 
She is my worst enemy on a lot of days. 
 
She's also me. It's my voice doing the talking. 
 
Self-talk is so important in life. You can have the best situation, be the most talented person, and have such a passion to do things but then that voice in your head jumps in and shuts it all down. 
 
Years ago, I started to really pay attention to the way that I thought. It was ridiculous. It didn't take long to realize that my poor thought life was taking me down a road that I didn't want to travel. But by not keeping my self-talk in check, I was going that direction any way. 
 
Your thoughts matter. What you allow yourself to think will be part of shaping how you feel and what you believe is possible. If you're always thinking bad things about yourself, or telling yourself that you "can't", then you won't. 
 
Your thoughts matter. Take control of your thoughts and you can take control of your life. 
 
That sounds simple enough, but controlling your thoughts is incredibly difficult, especially when you're just getting started. You'll spend the entire day engaged in a battle in your mind that others can't see. You'll collapse into bed at night because you are mentally exhausted from the battle for your mind. It's tiring work, but it's important. And just like with any change, if you stick with it, it will start to get easier over time. You'll have to fight less. 
 
One thing you can do to make it easier is to have a few positive things to shift your attention to when you catch yourself thinking negatively. I like to use Bible verses that remind me of who God says I am and what He says I'm capable of. 
 
Do you struggle with negative self talk? 
 
 
#motivationforwomen #selftalk #selftalkmatters #changeyourthoughtschangeyourlife #encouragementforwomen #encouragementformoms
Fall has always been my favorite season. I love th Fall has always been my favorite season. I love the colors on the trees, trips to the apple cider for homemade doughnuts, and the crisp air in the morning. 
 
Beautiful, sunny, fall days are some of my favorite days. 
 
But when October hits, it can steal some of my enjoyment of the season. You see, October brings about the beginning of the 4th quarter of the year. It's a time to reflect on what I've accomplished—or didn't accomplish— during the first 3 quarters. 
 
And it's a time to force myself to get realistic about what I can actually accomplish before the clock strikes midnight on New Year's Eve. Most years, I'm not where I want to be for hitting the final quarter of the year. 
 
But this year, I'm excited for the final sprint of the year. I'm excited to see what I can accomplish in a year that was full of so many challenges and difficult times. 
 
And it's not that I've done anything amazing this year compared to other years. It's just that I'm changing my focus and perspective. 
 
What areas of your life do you need to change your focus on in order to reclaim some of the joy in your life? 
 
#choosehappiness #changeyourperspective #4thquarter #October #femaleentrepreneur #finishstrong
Are you stressed? Do you have days where you feel Are you stressed? Do you have days where you feel like this year is too much to handle? Are you trying to figure out what's wrong with you and why you just can't focus on what you need to? 
 
It's not just you. 
 
I'm hearing this from friends and family. I'm seeing it with my clients and picking up on it from social media posts. 
 
Don't feel like you're alone. It doesn't mean there is something wrong with you. It just means you are a human living through what's likely one of the most challenging years that you've had. 
 
2020 just seems to pile it on and many of us were already stressed in 2019 and before. 
 
Take a deep breath.  Cry if you need to. Then spend a few minutes doing something you enjoy that recharges you. Pray. Laugh.  Rest. 
 
It will be OK, even if it doesn't feel like it right now. 
 
 

#encouragementfortheday #stress #encouragementforwomen #selfcare #

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