Okay, today I want to talk to you about something that drives me crazy. Partly because I have wasted a lot of my own life with this issue and partly because I can’t stand watching friends and family do the same thing. There’s a lot of people out there wondering how to make the life changes that they want to see in their life. They’re asking themselves “how do I take control of my life” or “how do I change my life” or something along those lines.
The trick is, there is no magic formula.
It’s hard work. That’s all it is.
Anytime you see someone and you wish that you could be in the place that they’re in, you can be. Imagine me putting my hands on your shoulders and shaking you as I tell you this. That can be you! There is nothing in this world that is holding you back other than yourself. If you want to change your life, then do it.
I spent years in my past just feeling sorry for myself, feeling sorry for the situation I was in (even though I created a lot of it), and yet I was the only person keeping myself in that place. And, I was the only person that was going to be able to change my situation and change my life. Nobody did it for me and nobody is going to do it for you.
The people in your life that you are waiting for, that you think are going to make your life better, they’re still trying to figure out how to improve themselves. They don’t have time or energy to fix you. In fact, they don’t even really care as much as you think. Bottom line—nobody’s going to do for you.
Does this sound too harsh?
Now, this might be sounding harsh, but I think that this is a message more people need to hear and accept. You can make a difference in your life. You can change the direction of your life. It doesn’t matter how bad your life is right now, you can turn it around.
There are too many stories of people who grew up in the hood, from the wrong side of the tracks, whose parents had no money, the water was off, and the electricity was off while they were growing up, and they still made something of their lives. I’m guessing most of you reading this are not going to have come from that situation. Maybe your situation is worse, maybe it was better, or maybe it was just different and you can’t really say if it was better or worse. But the truth is, it doesn’t even matter.
What matters is that you start taking responsibility for your own life. Quit worrying about what other people will think. And start taking action yourself.
A little inspiration
I came across a quote the other day, from Barbara Lexi Hall. It says, “You are in control of your life. Don’t ever forget that. You are what you are because of the conscious and subconscious choices you have made.”
I couldn’t agree with this more, even though sometimes I don’t want to admit it. Stop for a moment and think about your life and the things that you want to change in it. You have no one to blame for the things that you’re unhappy about in your life, except yourself.
No matter how hard you try to put the blame on someone else, there’s always something that you can do to improve your situation. And, it’s your life. Most other people aren’t going to be worried about trying to make it better for you. They’re too busy trying to make their own life better. They’re wondering who’s going to help them out. So, if you want to know how to change your life, here are some things you should think about.
What are you doing that you shouldn’t be doing?
Where are you wasting your time? What do you know you shouldn’t be doing, but you do it anyway? This includes things like:
- feeling sorry for yourself
- comparing yourself to others
- staying stuck in the past
- eating things you shouldn’t be eating
- spending time with people you shouldn’t be hanging out with
- spending money you don’t really have
These things aren’t going to do anything to help you change your situation.
What are you avoiding that you know you need to do?
It’s ridiculous the amount of information that we can get our hands on. Most of us know what we should be doing. We probably even spent hours researching how to do it or trying to find easier ways to do it or shortcuts to get around doing it. But, we just aren’t obedient in actually doing it.
There’s really no help for you if you’re going to avoid doing the stuff you already know you need to be doing. The only thing you can do is start taking action. It might be hard. It might be a little scary. You probably don’t know exactly how to do it, but who cares? Figure it out, give it a try, and do it anyway.
Start setting goals
I get it, people hate goal-setting. I used to be the same way and sometimes I still struggle with it. When you set a goal you also set an expectation. If you’re used to letting yourself down, it’s easy to want to give up setting goals because you don’t want to keep failing.
But, if you listen to the real stories of any successful people, whether they’re famous in sports, acting, business, or just about anything else, they succeeded because they were goal setters and plan makers. They knew what they were going after and that’s why they got it done. Stop making excuses and start doing it.
Get some accountability
This is going to be stereotyping just a little bit, but a lot of the women I know have a hard time staying accountable to themselves. We bend over backward to do the things that we told other people we were going to do for them, but if it’s doing something for ourselves it doesn’t get done. It shouldn’t be that way.
Your words need to matter! Your commitments need to matter. You need to be a woman of your word and do what you say you’re going to do. If you have a tendency to not follow through on what you say you’re going to do, then you need to start doing the opposite. Choose a few small things that you can commit to, and stick to them. As soon as you’ve completed those, pick another thing that’s a little bigger and just let it keep snowballing.
When your words start to matter to you, they’re going to mean a lot more to other people too. You need to be able to trust yourself before other people are really going to trust you.
I’m calling you out
I get that this might be coming across a little harsh. And, honestly, it’s meant to. Sometimes we need that cheerleader to come alongside us and encourage us and motivate us to get done what we said we’re going to do. But, sometimes we need that stern person to come along and call us out.
That’s what this message is. I’m calling you out. If you want to see changes in your life, then you need to be responsible for making them. If you need help making those changes, you’re responsible for getting the help that you need. And it might be scary at first, but I can promise you that you will love the feeling of empowerment that you start to experience when you start making those changes in your life. When your confidence starts to grow, and you see the changes happening in your life that you have been waiting for, for so long, you’re going to love it! But, to get to that point you’re going to have to do the hard work.
If you have problems keeping yourself accountable, I’m happy to help. Check out my accountability options or feel free to contact me to discuss an option that works for you. There’s nothing wrong with needing extra accountability in your life. But, it’s up to you to find it. And, it’s important that you start to learn skills to keep yourself accountable as well. You can do it!