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Dealing With Laziness and Procrastination

December 18, 2014 By Stephanie Leave a Comment

18 Dec

To start the What Keeps Your Stuck series at the beginning read here.

ant hill“Go to the ant, O sluggard, observe her ways and be wise.” –Proverbs 6:6

The days are getting cold in Michigan now and it’s looking like we might end up with a white Christmas after all. Summer seems like a long time ago. Last summer was enjoyable because my daughters enjoyed playing outside a lot!

One day while we were outside playing in the driveway I noticed an ant hill and I brought the girls over to show them. Those little bugs were working so hard and so quickly; in and out of the hole moving the grains of sand. Never once did I see an ant just decide to stand around for a while or lay down and rest. They were constantly moving back and forth with such a mission.

After a few minutes my two year decided she was going to step on the ant hill; a move which got her in trouble with both older sisters. When she moved her foot and we saw what remained; a leveled hill of sand with a bunch of scurrying ants. And you know what? They got back to work again immediately.

If I was an ant and had all my work devastated by a toddler’s foot I would be upset. I would feel like quitting. I mean, why keep working so hard for someone to just come along and destroy everything that I worked so hard to build? Even if I decided to start rebuilding I would at least take a few minutes to cry, complain, and feel bad for myself.

But not the ants; they got right back to work. There was no sitting around and pouting. They didn’t take time off; it was right back to work, no laziness and no procrastination.

In his article, Finding Inspiration From the Ant, Greg Simas describes it like this:

For you and me the ant can teach us something about achieving a dream and reaching our goals. How so? The ant continues to relentlessly move forward! Each grain of sand moved gets them closer to achieving their dream. They refuse to get discouraged, they refuse to stay overwhelmed, they just keep working!

MY PERSONAL PROCRASTINATION

Procrastination is something that I have always struggled with and it is most definitely something that can keep a person stuck in life. In fact, at this very moment, I have 4 emails in my inbox waiting to be read from a series called How To Overcome Procrastination.

When I was in school I would put off working on large projects until the last minute. If I was intimidated by a project I would put it off until it had to be completed. At that time I would usually be able to pull off something pretty good. I got great grades in school, but imagine what I could have accomplished if I had invested steady hard work into a project instead of a few hours late at night right before the due date.

When given the choice my natural tendency is to choose the easier task at hand and delay in doing the harder thing. The problem with this strategy is that usually in life the harder tasks are the ones that are going to move us towards our goals or keep us out of trouble. They are the tasks that usually force us to grow personally and overcome fear in one area or another.

When the girls go to bed after a day that they have been trying my very last nerve (bedtime can be a challenge for us) all I want to do is plop down on the couch next to Dustin and watch TV. But, in the end that doesn’t do anything to move us forward in reaching our goals. Now, it is nice to relax and spend some time together, but we have to be careful with our time.

It is so easy to sit and think and dream about how I want my life to be. But, sitting and dreaming does nothing to help move me forward towards our goal. Dustin had talked about starting his own business for years. He hated working for someone else. We even tried starting a few small businesses, but nothing that we really invested time or much thought into.

When we finally started our business back in 2009 it was different. We took action daily. We drove around to look for potential clients. We learned about the industry. We sent letters and made cold calls (which I hated). We worked until we got that first client and then we kept working to get more and keep our clients happy.

Every time we started to get lazy with our business, we could see the consequences of it and every time we started working harder, we would eventually start to see the benefits.

This is the same in my personal life. When I put the work into things like: my relationship with God, exercising, maintaining the home, etc., I eventually start to see results. The tough thing is results aren’t always immediate. When I have neglected my physical health for too long, I can’t exercise for a week and expect my body to make changes. Instead, I have to stick with it for weeks before I begin to notice anything, but it always eventually starts to show.

When I neglect the detailed cleaning of my house for too long I am not able to spend an hour and have everything spic-and-span again. Instead I have to invest time into getting it back up to par and then continue spending time to keep it there.

In any area if I get lazy for too long that area starts to suffer and another thing happens, it gets easier to be lazy. Taking the easy road over and over again never makes it easier to take the harder road in the future. However, if I train myself to put the work in now (even in the little things), it helps me be able to put the work into the big things that will make a difference in the future.

RESULTS OF LAZINESS

From what I have witnessed laziness and procrastination come with the following consequences:

  1. Gaining weight
  2. Having a messy house
  3. Getting in or staying in debt and wasting money
  4. Having a job that you don’t want
  5. Envying those who do more than you
  6. Low self-confidence (a lot of times I procrastinate because I am fearful that I won’t be able to accomplish something, but it’s always better to try and fail then do nothing)
  7. Always being late or missing deadlines
  8. Losing things and being unorganized
  9. Losing respect of those you care about
  10. Missing your potential

Think of someone you know personally that you admire. I can pretty much bet that this person is not a lazy person. If they are successful in business it is because they invested time into educating themselves and working hard when others were relaxing or taking time off (please note that I am not at all saying lead an unbalanced life, rest is important otherwise God wouldn’t have created the Sabbath). It they are successful at home and in relationships, it is because they have invested time into it and hard work.

WAYS TO MAKE A CHANGE

If you struggle with laziness and procrastination it is a tough thing to change, but not impossible, and you are the only one who can make it happen.

My first recommendation would be to determine why you are struggling with this. My reason is almost always fear: afraid of failing, afraid of not knowing what to do to start or fear of the pain that is associated with it or how hard it will be. I think a few other things that lead to procrastination and laziness is:

  • Selfishness – wanting other people to do for you while you enjoy the ride
  • Lack of motivation/interest – maybe the thing you are procrastinating on just isn’t something you care about but something that you need to do or something that will help someone else
  • Bad habits – not enough sleep, low energy due to poor eating, drinking/drugs: some of these things have a root problem underneath and some of them involve you needing to suck it up and make a change.

Another thing that helps me deal with my laziness is to make a list. I am a huge list person and when something is written down on paper and waiting to be crossed off it motivates me to complete it. Keeping a list also helps keep me on a schedule and using my time wisely.

Make a list of the things that you could have in life if you put the hard work in. What are your dreams? Where do you want to be in 1 year? 5 years? 10 years? If you don’t have a plan for your future then it’s easy to be lazy since you don’t have a goal you are trying to reach.

Set deadlines for yourself. My husband has helped me to learn this one. He likes to assign a deadline for everything. I hate doing that because I struggle with a fear of failing. If I don’t set a deadline for myself, then I don’t miss the deadline and fail. But, if I don’t set a deadline for myself it’s a lot easier to keep pushing back the things that I need to do. It helps to turn that “fear of failure” into “motivation to try to succeed”. If you fail at meeting your deadline, at least you are a lot closer to meeting it then if you didn’t try at all.

Don’t allow laziness and procrastination to keep you from having a great future. Depending on your circumstances, it could be weeks, months, or years until you see the results that you are hoping for, but each time you overcome laziness it gets you a step closer. And every time you overcome laziness it helps you the next time the urge to procrastinate comes along. Dream and plan for your future and then get to work!

Laziness is a secret ingredient that goes into failure. But it’s only kept a secret from the person who fails. – Robert Half

 

More from the What Keeps You Stuck series:

Introduction

Lack of Education

Past Failures

Listening to Others

 

Or to follow the series through the weekly newsletter sign up below.

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Stuck in Your Rut - Stephanie


Today has been a terrible, horrible, no good, very
Today has been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. 

Some days are like that.

And sometimes those days are our fault.

My day was caused by a toxic client. As much as I would like to blame her, I take responsibility because I knew from the beginning that I never should have worked with her.

When we go down paths we shouldn't go down, we usually have painful consequences.

Several valuable lessons were learned today and I would like to share them so I don't have to relearn them again in the future and maybe I can spare you some future pain too.

1. Be careful when doing business with people whose values don't align with yours

2. When you feel you should get out of a situation, do not delay

3. Never do any type of work that leaves you feeling your values were compromised

4. Toxic people can play nice... for awhile... But their true colors will always show through in the end

5. Trust your instincts

6. When you turn a situation over to God, it doesn't mean the way out will be pain free

And finally remember, some days feel like terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days, but it doesn't have to stay like that.

Happy Friday!

I've been pondering this a lot in the past week.


I've been pondering this a lot in the past week.

I do a lot of work in the mental health space. I believe in the benefits of therapy and medication as needed. 

But as I help people share this message that "therapy is for everyone," I'm starting to wonder if we are spreading the wrong message.

Yes therapy can be for everyone. And there are some people who absolutely need the support and guidance of mental health professionals. But does everyone actually need therapy to be mentally well? 

That seems to be the trend we have taken as society.

Therapy can play an important role in helping people heal and live healthy, but are we becoming too dependent on believing we ALL need therapy? Have we lost the ability to process through difficult situations on our own or with our own support system?

I'm not sure. I'm still pondering. But I would love to hear your thoughts.


We see what we look for.

In our first house, we h
We see what we look for.

In our first house, we had beautiful sunrises and sunsets over farm fields. A few years ago we lived by the ocean where we saw stunning sunsets regularly over the water. 

Beautiful sunrises and sunsets is one the things I've missed since living in a neighborhood in a suburb of Louisville Kentucky. The trees around us block out most of these beautiful moments every morning and night.

I was up early this morning and decided to sit outside and enjoy the cooler air and I had the opportunity to watch an incredible sunrise from this small little section.

It reminded me that we often get what we look for in life. If you want to see all the bad, you will. If you look for the good, you can find it. And just because we don't see good things happening at every moment (like I don't usually see the sunrises) doesn't mean they aren't still happening all around us.

#thankfulgratefulblessed #tuesdaythoughts #beencouraged


Wow! So true.

I came across this incredible remi
Wow! So true. 

I came across this incredible reminder in an email today from @lysaterkeurst and @proverbs31ministires.

Yesterday was a rough day. I got myself into a difficult conversation with someone and ended up saying things that I regret out of my frustration.

Too many times in life I have allowed my emotions to get the best of me which never ends in me feeling better than I did in the beginning. Carefully planned words are ALWAYS better than speaking in the heat of the moment.

Sometimes we need to say difficult things to people, but we can choose to do it out of love instead of frustration and anger.

So, I cannot control the actions of others or many details of this specific situation, but I can control my words in the midst of it, and I can control how much power I allow the situation to have over my life.

Sharing in case my failure can help anyone else do better.

#workinprogress #stilllearning


The power of our minds and the way we choose to th
The power of our minds and the way we choose to think is amazing!

A couple weeks ago on vacation, we had the chance to hold a baby alligator. There were grown people on the boat who were terrified to sit next to a person holding the alligator. Then there were those, like Macy, who took advantage of a new opportunity and gave it a go.

If we really think about it, this is exactly what happens in life too. Some people are too afraid to take a risk and try something new when the opportunity comes and others are willing to give it a try. 

Some are afraid to let their friends and family try a new adventure because their own fear is so strong so they discourage them from doing the thing even if that person really wants to try it.

Our minds and our thoughts are so incredibly powerful but the good news is that we get to choose our thoughts and actions. A new situation may feel scary, but that doesn't mean you can't choose to move past that fear and try something new.

#tryingnewthings #overcomingfear #chooseyourthoughts

Have you ever thought about how a click of a camer
Have you ever thought about how a click of a camera button has the ability to capture a moment in time? Pretty amazing!

We always make a point to take pictures of the big moments or the things we do when we travel, like our day trip to Nashville yesterday.

But there are so many day-to-day moments that make my heart happy too, like seeing my daughters cooking dinner (which they choose to do a lot - blessed mom right here!) or when my husband is helping the girls build garden planters for our veggies. I need to make an effort to take pictures of these moments more so I can be reminded of these simple joys. The days seem long but the years are going fast!

What is something you see in day-to-day life that brings you joy?

Do you ever just wish you had a quiet moment alone
Do you ever just wish you had a quiet moment alone?

I loved this little bit of time I had on our Tennessee vacation, sitting on the porch swing listening to the rain.

I'm guilty of filling my day too full and trying to do too much and tiring myself out.

This morning I was reminded of Luke 5:7 "But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed."

It's important to be intentional about creating space to withdrawal and pray.

Some days it looks and sounds pretty. Most days, it's finding the one quiet place in my house. All that matters is that we do it.

How do you talk about and think about yourself?

Y
How do you talk about and think about yourself?

Yesterday I had the pleasure of chatting with several different women. I'm getting ready to write website profiles for them and wanted to learn more about them.

I noticed something that got me thinking during one of the calls. 

I asked the question "Who do you enjoy working with?"

The woman gave me a long list of the people she didn't feel qualified to help. She shared her heart for people but would then explain the areas she felt she was lacking. 

I'm sure she didn't realize she was doing this. I know I struggle with doing the same thing. It's so easy to spot in other people what we miss in ourselves. 

So, how do you think and talk about yourself? Do you focus on where you are lacking and where you don't feel "good enough" or qualified? Or, do you acknowledge your skills and strengths? 

We all have areas we can grow and improve but we are unproductive when those are the main areas we focus on.

#focusonyourstrengths #thoughtlife #positivethinking #buildconfidence


I was reading the book Friendship - It's Complicat
I was reading the book Friendship - It's Complicated by @andiandrew this morning and came across the saying "healed people heal people." It really struck me.

I've heard many times the old saying "hurting people hurt people" but this simple switch made it so different. 

It made me really reflect on my actions, words, and behaviors to see if I was helping or hurting others. It made me think about what areas of my life I needed to walk in healing so I could help bring others along.

I also love the way this shifted from the negative to the positive. "Hurting people hurt people" can be used as an excuse if you've experienced pain in your life. "Healed people heal people" is so much more of a calling to rise up out of painful situations to make a positive difference. It gives your hurtful experiences and pain a new purpose. 

Just something to think about.

#encouragement #movepastyourpast #womensupportingwomen

Let's talk about meerkats for a minute—stick wit
Let's talk about meerkats for a minute—stick with me here.  
 
On Thursday, I took my kids to the zoo for a few hours. We've had an exhausting couple of weeks. Things haven't gone as planned. Work has been hectic and I've been working long hours. We're in the middle of trying to make some big life decisions again (which seems to be the constant state of life).  
 
Can you relate?  
 
The zoo is one of our happy places, so we picked the warmest day of the week and took some time off to get outside and enjoy ourselves.  
 
Some of my favorite animals to watch at the zoo are the meerkats. 
 
If you ever watch a gang of meerkats, you'll probably notice that there is almost always one meerkat that is standing up checking the skies and looking around while the others are off doing their thing. Why? 
 
That meerkat is watching for danger. They are checking the skies and surrounding areas for predators. They remain alert in order to allow the others to find food and do what they need to do. 
 
On this trip, I could relate to that poor little meerkat standing up, not enjoying herself in order to try to protect her family—not realizing they are safe from predators. As a wife and mom, I think that instinct comes pretty naturally to us women. I've been so caught up lately in trying to figure out how to balance what the different members of my family need that it's been harder to enjoy the good things in each day.  
 
But I'm not a meerkat. There really aren't predators circling around me, trying to get my family. Yes, there are dangers in this world, but when that's all I focus on, that's all I see. I miss all of the good things that are taking place and the positive moments I could be enjoying. 
 
So, if you can relate to that little meerkat too, here's your reminder to take a break. Be present in the moment.

There are hard parenting days - which we've had qu
There are hard parenting days - which we've had quite a bit of lately - and then there are the days when your kid surprises you with a homemade card. 

The world is full of scary, hard things right now and it's easy when you focus on those things to forget all the good that is right around you.

I'm getting started so I can be organized and on m
I'm getting started so I can be organized and on my game for 2022 thanks to help from my new planner by @christybwright

Sometimes we feel stuck in life because of things
Sometimes we feel stuck in life because of things that are within our control.

You can't control what others do to you... but you can control what you choose to do after that. If you're holding onto unforgiveness towards someone, it's going to seep into all areas of your life.

Being easily offended and staying offended and angry gives things outside of your control power over you, your day, and your attitude.

If you're tired of not making progress in life and often feel angry, I encourage you to look inward. Sometimes I'm caught off guard by the things I thought I had dealt with and moved on from that I didn't.

#movingforward #dontbeeasilyoffended #inspiration #armorofgodstudy

There are few things I find as beautiful in nature
There are few things I find as beautiful in nature as a tree with fall colors on a bright sunny day. ❤️🍁

#fallcolors🍁🍂 #louisvillezoo

It can be so hard to ask for things that we want.
It can be so hard to ask for things that we want. The fear of the "what ifs" always want to get in the way. But what if we change our thoughts and expect the best instead of assuming the worst?

My dad has been an incredible example of just asking. He doesn't overthink asking questions to people and because of it, he learns all kinds of cool things. He doesn't worry about if the person says "no" or responds negatively. He doesn't let fear stop him. 

Over the years, my husband and I have learned to ask for things we want. We asked for work from a church without knowing if they would be interested. We asked to barter handyman services and home repair in exchange for lower rent. 

We've asked for some weird things that don't seem like they should have worked out, but they did. And we would have never had those opportunities if we hadn't been willing to ask for them.

Are there questions you've been avoiding asking out of fear?

This.

It's so easy to avoid growth and change bec
This.

It's so easy to avoid growth and change because it's uncomfortable and painful. But so many times the life we want is on the other side.

#motivation #thursdaythoughts #growthmindset #growingpains #pushpastthehardthings


What if you don't wait to get started until everyt
What if you don't wait to get started until everything is perfect? What would that look like? 
 
I'm giving you a sneak peek into what my incredible workspace looks like today 😜 
 
Today I have a few calls so I'm working with my messy bed as my desk so I can have a quiet space. Sometimes I work from my kitchen counter. My family of 5 lives in a small rental house right now. I don't have any space for an office, but I'm running a growing business by working like this. 
 
If I had waited to get started until I "knew everything" or had the perfect setup, I would have wasted the last 5 years. If I had waited until I "knew just a little more" or felt a "little more ready", I still wouldn't be doing anything. Even after 5 years, I still have LOTS to learn but I'm so much further along because I took the step of getting started.
 
It sucks to hear, but you have to get started before you're "ready". That's just the way it works. Don't let your circumstances get in your way. And - this might sound tough but - stop making excuses. Look for a way to make it work as best you can right now. 
 
 
 
#getstarted #femaleentrepreneur #makeitwork #midweekmotivation #takeachance #mompreneur #homeschoolingentrepreneur #overcomefear #buildyourconfidence

This quote rings so true to me. A little over 4 ye
This quote rings so true to me. A little over 4 years ago, I had such little confidence. I let fear control so much of what I did.

I was working to grow my freelance business and almost skipped an opportunity to take on work because the potential client wanted to schedule a phone call instead of just working through emails and messages. I broke out in hives just having to talk on the phone.

I couldn't handle ordering a pizza because I was too nervous about not knowing what to say. I overthought everything.

Fear controlled what I did and didn't do. It caused me to struggle in my thoughts and postponed my ability to go after the things I really wanted to accomplish.

Learning to overcome my fears took a lot of time. But slowly, I started to make progress. They were little changes at a time. I didn't even notice the growth as it happened. 

But then one day, that same client pointed out to me how much more confidence I had. And then another client mentioned how much I had grown in my confidence and ability to share my thoughts and opinions.

It ended up impacting every area of my life. 

But don't get me wrong, some days are still a struggle. Sometimes I still get hives when I have to talk on the phone or do a zoom call with someone I don't know, but not every time.

If you struggle with fear and confidence, know that you can improve and grow in this area. It doesn't have to be how you remain for the rest of your life. And so much of what you want is on the other side of pushing past that fear.

#overcomefear #buildconfidence #personalgrowth #growthmindset #motivationalquotes

Isn't it so easy to be happy and positive when you
Isn't it so easy to be happy and positive when you're on vacation? This picture is from over the summer when we did a mini vacation. It's easy when you get out of the routines of everyday life to start to think outside of the box and see new opportunities. 
 
But then we get back home. Clients need my attention. The house needs to be cleaned and dinner needs to be cooked. The kids have activities. And before I know it, I've fallen right back into going through the motions instead of really living each day. 
 
Here's your reminder for the day. I know it's Monday and it's easy to drag through the day. But choose to get outside of your comfort zone. Choose to look at things in a new way. Choose to start building the life you want to live, even if it's one tiny decision at a time. 
 
#mondaymotivation

Don't wait for the fear to go away. It's not going
Don't wait for the fear to go away. It's not going to. Choose courage and push past it and just watch as your confidence starts to build.


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