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Goal Setting: How to Set Goals Once and For All

August 17, 2018 By Stephanie 4 Comments

17 Aug

Are you sick of setting goals and not reaching them? You know there are things that would make your life better and yet you don’t do them. When you stop and think about it, it sounds a little crazy. You know things in life would improve if you made changes, but you just can’t seem to stick to getting it done. The funny thing is, you’re not alone. It’s a super common problem that many of us suffer from and the good news is it’s not that hard to change.

It could be that you need to lose weight and sometimes you try, but it’s not long before you give up. It could be that you’ve always wanted to be a stay at home mom, but need to be able to make money for your family so you never make progress towards getting home. Or, maybe you know you need to get your finances in order, go back to school, improve an important relationship in your life, get your home organized, or grow a business. Whatever the things are that you want to accomplish in your life, one reason you aren’t getting them done is that you aren’t setting goals and tracking your progress. If you are ready to make a change and learn how to achieve goals, keep reading.

Why is goal setting important?

For years I gave up on setting goals. I never reached them anyway so what was the point of setting them and then feeling bad when I failed? Well, what I learned by doing this is that I basically made no progress when I didn’t set goals. And, any progress that I did make was wasted because it wasn’t easy to recognize. Goal setting is important for a few reasons:

  • It helps you get focused on creating the life that you want
  • You learn to recognize the success that you are having which helps build confidence
  • It helps you learn to spot the areas that aren’t working so you know what changes you need to make

Without goals, you are simply just going through the motions of life. You are allowing whatever happens to happen. And, you may have a great attitude about it and think you are just a “go with the flow” type of person, but why would you want to just go where life takes you. We are all responsible for our own lives. We get one chance at life and it’s our responsibility to do our best at it for ourselves and the loved ones around us.

How to set goals

I’ll be honest, I get sick of hearing about SMART goals. I don’t know exactly what it is, but I hate the phrase. Maybe it’s because for so many years I thought I was trying to follow the SMART goals plan and not making any progress. And, maybe you feel that way too.

However, when I really started learning about building confidence and making progress in my life I learned more about how to set SMART goals and why the process really does work. Here’s a quick overview:

SMART Goals = Specific, measurable, actionable, relevant, and timely.

  • Specific = You need to determine exactly what you want to do and be as detailed as possible. This means instead of saying, “I want to lose weight” you determine what your final goal weight is. Or, instead of saying “I want to save more money” you decide how much money you are going to save.
  • Measurable = When a goal is measurable you have a way to tell if you are making progress towards it or not. This is the part of your goal that allows you to track your progress. Instead of saying “I’m going to grow my Usborne business” it becomes “I’m going to grow my Usborne business by 10% this quarter”. You need a way to know when you hit your goal.
  • Achievable= You may want to lose 40 lbs before your vacation next month, but is that really achievable? No. When you set an unachievable goal you are setting yourself up for frustration and failure.
  • Relevant = Will the goal you are setting actually help you achieve something that you want in life? Many times we set goals that aren’t really what we want or are really the goal we need to focus on to get the thing that we want. If you want goals that are going to work they need to be relevant to what you want to accomplish in your life, otherwise, you are wasting your time. Buying a bigger house might be a good goal, but there has to be a reason why you care about doing this.
  • Timely = You MUST have a deadline with your goal. If you say things like “someday I am going to lose that last 10 pounds” that “someday” is never going to happen. You need to set a realistic deadline that will motivate you to continue making steady progress towards your goal.

Review your goals carefully

Once you think you have your goals set take time to review them. Walk yourself through the SMART process. Ask yourself questions like:

  • Is this goal specific? What exactly am I trying to accomplish?
  • Can I measure my progress? What is the unit that I am using to measure my progress?
  • Is this achievable? Am I being realistic in this goal?
  • Does this goal really help me get what I want in life?
  • What is the deadline? Can I mark it on the calendar?

Write them down where you will see them

Here’s a common problem with goal setting: January 1st rolls around and you want to set “resolutions”. You spend a little bit of time thinking about what you want to accomplish and then you go on with your day. Well, it doesn’t take long to forget what your goals were and why they really mattered.

If you want to achieve the goals that you are setting you to need to take it a step further—WRITE THEM DOWN. And, then look at them often. Create a vision board where you can keep your goals in front of you. Write them in your journal and review them on a weekly basis. Take a picture of them written down and use it as your screensaver. You get the point, get creative with it and keep your goals in front of you.

What happens after you set goals?

Setting your goal is just the first step. Once you have your goal you need to break it down into small actionable steps. Here’s why:

  • It’s not so overwhelming: Big goals can be overwhelming. Smaller steps are more manageable. They also give you something to constantly be crossing off so you can see your progress. For example, instead of focusing on the big goal of losing 50 pounds you can focus on the task of going to the spin class on Tuesday. At the end of class, you know that you accomplished a task that is helping you work towards your goal.
  • It forces you to think through the steps: There are always smaller steps that help you reach a bigger goal. If you only focus on the big goal you may never learn what the steps are to get there and then you fail at reaching your goal. When you force yourself to break your goal down you are creating the action plan to reach it.
  • It helps you stay on track: If your goal is to make $10,000 on your side business in the next 4 months it’s easy to make no progress for the first few months and still think you have a chance. However, when you think about needing to make $2,500/month it keeps you on track. Then, it’s easier to see that if you aren’t making enough money at the beginning you really need to ramp it up at the end. And, many times if you aren’t making the progress you need to at the beginning you probably aren’t putting yourself in the position to reach your goal.

Stay focused

Daily life makes it easy to lose sight of our goals. This is a struggle that I have. My normal day may consist of any number of the following tasks: homeschooling the girls, making dinner, cleaning, accountability coaching, freelance content writing, customer calls, and writing social media and blog posts. This list doesn’t even include things like spending time with family and friends, going grocery shopping, paying bills, reading, Bible study, and exercising.

Some of the details might look a little different, but your day is probably similar. We have a lot of things to do, people that demand our attention, and tasks that need to be completed. That’s life. There’s no reason for trying to fight it. But, we can work on getting it organized.

I’ve found it’s important to focus on a few areas when planning my day:

  • Keeping my goal in sight
  • Knowing what’s for dinner
  • Getting in some form of exercise
  • Knowing what personal tasks need my attention
  • Knowing what business tasks need my attention

Then at the end of each day, I spend a few minutes thinking through what went well during the day and what I was successful at. And, I think about what I failed at and what changes I need to make to not fail at that the next day. Sticking to this process helps me stay focused on my goal while making changes as need be. To make it easier on myself I created a printable planner that I use to keep all of this in one place. If you are interested in seeing the planner fill in your name and email and hit subscribe.

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Filed Under: Personal Growth

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. RSmith says

    October 8, 2018 at 9:56 am

    your weight loss shows on your face. And these tips you offer are very realistic; something everyone can relate to unlike the rigid lifestyle and tips from film actors/actresses.

    Reply
  2. Greg says

    January 23, 2019 at 9:30 am

    The accountability coach or partner is awesome advice. Something most people forget or want to avoid as want to do it on their own. I’ve found having someone hold you account to be a key factor in who is successful in achieving goals, and who isn’t! I read a study that said it had a 25% uplift in success rate alone!

    Reply
  3. Valenica Abbott says

    February 15, 2019 at 5:24 am

    Being able to stay focused is a continuing area of growth. Hopefully, with some determination and a little planning, you can make the most of your work time and enjoy more personal time and time with your family.

    Reply
  4. Doctear says

    April 9, 2019 at 9:48 am

    Hey Stephanie! This is a very insightful post. I will set SMART goals and stay focused this time. 🙂 Thanks for sharing.

    Reply

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Stuck in Your Rut - Stephanie


Today has been a terrible, horrible, no good, very
Today has been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. 

Some days are like that.

And sometimes those days are our fault.

My day was caused by a toxic client. As much as I would like to blame her, I take responsibility because I knew from the beginning that I never should have worked with her.

When we go down paths we shouldn't go down, we usually have painful consequences.

Several valuable lessons were learned today and I would like to share them so I don't have to relearn them again in the future and maybe I can spare you some future pain too.

1. Be careful when doing business with people whose values don't align with yours

2. When you feel you should get out of a situation, do not delay

3. Never do any type of work that leaves you feeling your values were compromised

4. Toxic people can play nice... for awhile... But their true colors will always show through in the end

5. Trust your instincts

6. When you turn a situation over to God, it doesn't mean the way out will be pain free

And finally remember, some days feel like terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days, but it doesn't have to stay like that.

Happy Friday!

I've been pondering this a lot in the past week.


I've been pondering this a lot in the past week.

I do a lot of work in the mental health space. I believe in the benefits of therapy and medication as needed. 

But as I help people share this message that "therapy is for everyone," I'm starting to wonder if we are spreading the wrong message.

Yes therapy can be for everyone. And there are some people who absolutely need the support and guidance of mental health professionals. But does everyone actually need therapy to be mentally well? 

That seems to be the trend we have taken as society.

Therapy can play an important role in helping people heal and live healthy, but are we becoming too dependent on believing we ALL need therapy? Have we lost the ability to process through difficult situations on our own or with our own support system?

I'm not sure. I'm still pondering. But I would love to hear your thoughts.


We see what we look for.

In our first house, we h
We see what we look for.

In our first house, we had beautiful sunrises and sunsets over farm fields. A few years ago we lived by the ocean where we saw stunning sunsets regularly over the water. 

Beautiful sunrises and sunsets is one the things I've missed since living in a neighborhood in a suburb of Louisville Kentucky. The trees around us block out most of these beautiful moments every morning and night.

I was up early this morning and decided to sit outside and enjoy the cooler air and I had the opportunity to watch an incredible sunrise from this small little section.

It reminded me that we often get what we look for in life. If you want to see all the bad, you will. If you look for the good, you can find it. And just because we don't see good things happening at every moment (like I don't usually see the sunrises) doesn't mean they aren't still happening all around us.

#thankfulgratefulblessed #tuesdaythoughts #beencouraged


Wow! So true.

I came across this incredible remi
Wow! So true. 

I came across this incredible reminder in an email today from @lysaterkeurst and @proverbs31ministires.

Yesterday was a rough day. I got myself into a difficult conversation with someone and ended up saying things that I regret out of my frustration.

Too many times in life I have allowed my emotions to get the best of me which never ends in me feeling better than I did in the beginning. Carefully planned words are ALWAYS better than speaking in the heat of the moment.

Sometimes we need to say difficult things to people, but we can choose to do it out of love instead of frustration and anger.

So, I cannot control the actions of others or many details of this specific situation, but I can control my words in the midst of it, and I can control how much power I allow the situation to have over my life.

Sharing in case my failure can help anyone else do better.

#workinprogress #stilllearning


The power of our minds and the way we choose to th
The power of our minds and the way we choose to think is amazing!

A couple weeks ago on vacation, we had the chance to hold a baby alligator. There were grown people on the boat who were terrified to sit next to a person holding the alligator. Then there were those, like Macy, who took advantage of a new opportunity and gave it a go.

If we really think about it, this is exactly what happens in life too. Some people are too afraid to take a risk and try something new when the opportunity comes and others are willing to give it a try. 

Some are afraid to let their friends and family try a new adventure because their own fear is so strong so they discourage them from doing the thing even if that person really wants to try it.

Our minds and our thoughts are so incredibly powerful but the good news is that we get to choose our thoughts and actions. A new situation may feel scary, but that doesn't mean you can't choose to move past that fear and try something new.

#tryingnewthings #overcomingfear #chooseyourthoughts

Have you ever thought about how a click of a camer
Have you ever thought about how a click of a camera button has the ability to capture a moment in time? Pretty amazing!

We always make a point to take pictures of the big moments or the things we do when we travel, like our day trip to Nashville yesterday.

But there are so many day-to-day moments that make my heart happy too, like seeing my daughters cooking dinner (which they choose to do a lot - blessed mom right here!) or when my husband is helping the girls build garden planters for our veggies. I need to make an effort to take pictures of these moments more so I can be reminded of these simple joys. The days seem long but the years are going fast!

What is something you see in day-to-day life that brings you joy?

Do you ever just wish you had a quiet moment alone
Do you ever just wish you had a quiet moment alone?

I loved this little bit of time I had on our Tennessee vacation, sitting on the porch swing listening to the rain.

I'm guilty of filling my day too full and trying to do too much and tiring myself out.

This morning I was reminded of Luke 5:7 "But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed."

It's important to be intentional about creating space to withdrawal and pray.

Some days it looks and sounds pretty. Most days, it's finding the one quiet place in my house. All that matters is that we do it.

How do you talk about and think about yourself?

Y
How do you talk about and think about yourself?

Yesterday I had the pleasure of chatting with several different women. I'm getting ready to write website profiles for them and wanted to learn more about them.

I noticed something that got me thinking during one of the calls. 

I asked the question "Who do you enjoy working with?"

The woman gave me a long list of the people she didn't feel qualified to help. She shared her heart for people but would then explain the areas she felt she was lacking. 

I'm sure she didn't realize she was doing this. I know I struggle with doing the same thing. It's so easy to spot in other people what we miss in ourselves. 

So, how do you think and talk about yourself? Do you focus on where you are lacking and where you don't feel "good enough" or qualified? Or, do you acknowledge your skills and strengths? 

We all have areas we can grow and improve but we are unproductive when those are the main areas we focus on.

#focusonyourstrengths #thoughtlife #positivethinking #buildconfidence


I was reading the book Friendship - It's Complicat
I was reading the book Friendship - It's Complicated by @andiandrew this morning and came across the saying "healed people heal people." It really struck me.

I've heard many times the old saying "hurting people hurt people" but this simple switch made it so different. 

It made me really reflect on my actions, words, and behaviors to see if I was helping or hurting others. It made me think about what areas of my life I needed to walk in healing so I could help bring others along.

I also love the way this shifted from the negative to the positive. "Hurting people hurt people" can be used as an excuse if you've experienced pain in your life. "Healed people heal people" is so much more of a calling to rise up out of painful situations to make a positive difference. It gives your hurtful experiences and pain a new purpose. 

Just something to think about.

#encouragement #movepastyourpast #womensupportingwomen

Let's talk about meerkats for a minute—stick wit
Let's talk about meerkats for a minute—stick with me here.  
 
On Thursday, I took my kids to the zoo for a few hours. We've had an exhausting couple of weeks. Things haven't gone as planned. Work has been hectic and I've been working long hours. We're in the middle of trying to make some big life decisions again (which seems to be the constant state of life).  
 
Can you relate?  
 
The zoo is one of our happy places, so we picked the warmest day of the week and took some time off to get outside and enjoy ourselves.  
 
Some of my favorite animals to watch at the zoo are the meerkats. 
 
If you ever watch a gang of meerkats, you'll probably notice that there is almost always one meerkat that is standing up checking the skies and looking around while the others are off doing their thing. Why? 
 
That meerkat is watching for danger. They are checking the skies and surrounding areas for predators. They remain alert in order to allow the others to find food and do what they need to do. 
 
On this trip, I could relate to that poor little meerkat standing up, not enjoying herself in order to try to protect her family—not realizing they are safe from predators. As a wife and mom, I think that instinct comes pretty naturally to us women. I've been so caught up lately in trying to figure out how to balance what the different members of my family need that it's been harder to enjoy the good things in each day.  
 
But I'm not a meerkat. There really aren't predators circling around me, trying to get my family. Yes, there are dangers in this world, but when that's all I focus on, that's all I see. I miss all of the good things that are taking place and the positive moments I could be enjoying. 
 
So, if you can relate to that little meerkat too, here's your reminder to take a break. Be present in the moment.

There are hard parenting days - which we've had qu
There are hard parenting days - which we've had quite a bit of lately - and then there are the days when your kid surprises you with a homemade card. 

The world is full of scary, hard things right now and it's easy when you focus on those things to forget all the good that is right around you.

I'm getting started so I can be organized and on m
I'm getting started so I can be organized and on my game for 2022 thanks to help from my new planner by @christybwright

Sometimes we feel stuck in life because of things
Sometimes we feel stuck in life because of things that are within our control.

You can't control what others do to you... but you can control what you choose to do after that. If you're holding onto unforgiveness towards someone, it's going to seep into all areas of your life.

Being easily offended and staying offended and angry gives things outside of your control power over you, your day, and your attitude.

If you're tired of not making progress in life and often feel angry, I encourage you to look inward. Sometimes I'm caught off guard by the things I thought I had dealt with and moved on from that I didn't.

#movingforward #dontbeeasilyoffended #inspiration #armorofgodstudy

There are few things I find as beautiful in nature
There are few things I find as beautiful in nature as a tree with fall colors on a bright sunny day. ❤️🍁

#fallcolors🍁🍂 #louisvillezoo

It can be so hard to ask for things that we want.
It can be so hard to ask for things that we want. The fear of the "what ifs" always want to get in the way. But what if we change our thoughts and expect the best instead of assuming the worst?

My dad has been an incredible example of just asking. He doesn't overthink asking questions to people and because of it, he learns all kinds of cool things. He doesn't worry about if the person says "no" or responds negatively. He doesn't let fear stop him. 

Over the years, my husband and I have learned to ask for things we want. We asked for work from a church without knowing if they would be interested. We asked to barter handyman services and home repair in exchange for lower rent. 

We've asked for some weird things that don't seem like they should have worked out, but they did. And we would have never had those opportunities if we hadn't been willing to ask for them.

Are there questions you've been avoiding asking out of fear?

This.

It's so easy to avoid growth and change bec
This.

It's so easy to avoid growth and change because it's uncomfortable and painful. But so many times the life we want is on the other side.

#motivation #thursdaythoughts #growthmindset #growingpains #pushpastthehardthings


What if you don't wait to get started until everyt
What if you don't wait to get started until everything is perfect? What would that look like? 
 
I'm giving you a sneak peek into what my incredible workspace looks like today 😜 
 
Today I have a few calls so I'm working with my messy bed as my desk so I can have a quiet space. Sometimes I work from my kitchen counter. My family of 5 lives in a small rental house right now. I don't have any space for an office, but I'm running a growing business by working like this. 
 
If I had waited to get started until I "knew everything" or had the perfect setup, I would have wasted the last 5 years. If I had waited until I "knew just a little more" or felt a "little more ready", I still wouldn't be doing anything. Even after 5 years, I still have LOTS to learn but I'm so much further along because I took the step of getting started.
 
It sucks to hear, but you have to get started before you're "ready". That's just the way it works. Don't let your circumstances get in your way. And - this might sound tough but - stop making excuses. Look for a way to make it work as best you can right now. 
 
 
 
#getstarted #femaleentrepreneur #makeitwork #midweekmotivation #takeachance #mompreneur #homeschoolingentrepreneur #overcomefear #buildyourconfidence

This quote rings so true to me. A little over 4 ye
This quote rings so true to me. A little over 4 years ago, I had such little confidence. I let fear control so much of what I did.

I was working to grow my freelance business and almost skipped an opportunity to take on work because the potential client wanted to schedule a phone call instead of just working through emails and messages. I broke out in hives just having to talk on the phone.

I couldn't handle ordering a pizza because I was too nervous about not knowing what to say. I overthought everything.

Fear controlled what I did and didn't do. It caused me to struggle in my thoughts and postponed my ability to go after the things I really wanted to accomplish.

Learning to overcome my fears took a lot of time. But slowly, I started to make progress. They were little changes at a time. I didn't even notice the growth as it happened. 

But then one day, that same client pointed out to me how much more confidence I had. And then another client mentioned how much I had grown in my confidence and ability to share my thoughts and opinions.

It ended up impacting every area of my life. 

But don't get me wrong, some days are still a struggle. Sometimes I still get hives when I have to talk on the phone or do a zoom call with someone I don't know, but not every time.

If you struggle with fear and confidence, know that you can improve and grow in this area. It doesn't have to be how you remain for the rest of your life. And so much of what you want is on the other side of pushing past that fear.

#overcomefear #buildconfidence #personalgrowth #growthmindset #motivationalquotes

Isn't it so easy to be happy and positive when you
Isn't it so easy to be happy and positive when you're on vacation? This picture is from over the summer when we did a mini vacation. It's easy when you get out of the routines of everyday life to start to think outside of the box and see new opportunities. 
 
But then we get back home. Clients need my attention. The house needs to be cleaned and dinner needs to be cooked. The kids have activities. And before I know it, I've fallen right back into going through the motions instead of really living each day. 
 
Here's your reminder for the day. I know it's Monday and it's easy to drag through the day. But choose to get outside of your comfort zone. Choose to look at things in a new way. Choose to start building the life you want to live, even if it's one tiny decision at a time. 
 
#mondaymotivation

Don't wait for the fear to go away. It's not going
Don't wait for the fear to go away. It's not going to. Choose courage and push past it and just watch as your confidence starts to build.


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