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You are Stronger Than You Think: Emotional Strength During a Pandemic

April 2, 2020 By Stephanie Leave a Comment

2 Apr

I went to Sam’s Club yesterday. It was the first time I’ve been outside of my neighborhood in two weeks because of this pandemic. I was excited to be able to get out and see something, even though it’s only 5 minutes from my house. But I was also nervous to be out with others because there were still a lot of people out and about.

As I got out of my car and started walking to the entrance, I could see people with masks and gloves on. There was a worker standing at the carts, spraying and wiping each one down before letting a shopper touch it. These are crazy times we’re living in.

As I walked through the store, there were reminders everywhere I looked of what was going on with this COVID-19 pandemic. Not only are the toilet paper shelves still bare but plenty of other aisles are as well. There’s hardly any laundry detergent. I haven’t been able to buy ground beef for weeks. And, most of the aisles have minimal options to choose from.

It’s scary really—to think we’re living through a worldwide pandemic. There’s no way we can comprehend what’s still to come both with the pandemic and the economical situation that will follow. I started to get overwhelmed as I pushed my cart up and down the aisles, trying to stay 6 feet away from everyone else.

We moved to Florida 7 months ago.

It’s been rough. We’ve struggled to connect with anyone. For months and months we found comfort in heading to Disney Springs (Disney is one of our favorite places) or watching the sunset on the beach. I work from home. My girls are homeschooled. We didn’t make quick connections.

It was really hard. I’ve struggled with mild bouts of depression since after the holidays. But, we had a few things we enjoyed. Things we found comfort in and that distracted us from the loneliness.

Then, things started to look more positive. We found a homeschool group that had tons of activities. In January, the girls started art class, guitar lessons, and gymnastics. We finally found a church that we wanted to attend.

I thought things were finally going to turn around for the better. And, then the world shut down. Literally. Disney closed. The beaches closed. The kids activities closed. Church closed.

And, here we are. Back where we started.

But then it hit me—we’re so much stronger than we think.

All of us—you included.

Pushing that grocery cart up and down the aisles yesterday was overwhelming. I felt so many emotions. Sadness. Anger. Disbelief.

We could have never imagined living through a time so unpredictable as this. But, we are.

See, when it comes down to it, we will get through this because we don’t have a choice. That’s how life goes.

We can say things like, “I’d never be able to ________.” But if you’re faced with that situation and your only choice is to get through it, you do.

We learn to adjust. We figure out how to video chat with friends or hold virutal meetings with coworkers. We learn to homeschool our kids because the schools are shut down. And, we start to cook dinner and eat together every night because there’s no other option.

We see what true courage looks like and realize that “heroes” aren’t sports figures or famous people. They’re the doctors, nurses, soldiers and first responders. We see that sports figures, actors, singers, and those with loads of money are in much the same position as we are because they can’t buy their way out of it.

And we relearn the importance of the people filling positions we often overlooked like warehouse workers, cashiers, and truck drivers.

We learn to place value on people instead of position and ranking.

When the pandemic strips it all away, we find what really matters. And, it’s not in Disney, shopping, sports, grades, or finances. It’s the people that matter. And, it’s faith that gets us through.

And that’s why you’re stronger than you think

You’re still here. Your value isn’t in your bank account, your job, your kids popularity at school, or any of the other silly things that we’ve focused on for far too long.

And, we don’t need all of the comforts and habits of life to live.

If you change your mindset and what you focus on throughout this whole pandemic, you can find your strength. It comes from within and it’s something that can’t be taken from you.

The history lessons the girls have been following this year are just starting to take us into the Great Depression. The economic climate was far worse than it is right now. I’m not saying or promising that we won’t reach that level, but even if we do, we’ll make it.

People living through the Great Depression survived, not because it was easy, but because they had no choice. People have survived hiding out during WWII, other pandemics, and different difficult situations. It’s not that anyone would choose to go through those situations, just like we wouldn’t choose to go through this. But, when you’re put in the place that it’s not a choice, the only choice you’re left with is to give up or toughen up.

Life’s not going to be as easy for awhile, as it was a few months ago. There are so many unknowns, but what I do know, is we’re here. We can and will get through this. We’re stronger than we used to believe. We’re already starting to see it and will continue to.

Change your focus

If you’re struggling to see this, look around at your circumstances. Look for the positive things that you can find right now. What do you have that you’re grateful for? What news stories can you find of people rising to the challenge of this time and helping others? Where are the good stories? They’re out there if you look for them.

Don’t focus on the bare shelves at the store. Focus on the people working hard to make the products, drive them to the store and stock them on the shelves. Don’t focus on the death counts. Foucs on the number of people recovering and the healthcare staff that’s working hard to make that happen. Don’t focus on what you don’t like about the government right now. Focus on the fact that they’re doing the best they know how to try to protect the people. Don’t focus on how hard it is to stay at home all day. Focus on being thankful for those first repsonders that are continuing to go out each day to protect and serve you.

There’s no denying that we’ve lost a lot in the past month. But, you’re still here. You’re making the adjustments that you need to. It might not feel good, but with each one, you have the opportunity to learn that you’re stronger than you think.  And, if you’re still not feeling it, send me a message. No one needs to feel alone right now just becuase we can’t be together.

Filed Under: Personal Growth

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Stuck in Your Rut - Stephanie


Today has been a terrible, horrible, no good, very
Today has been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. 

Some days are like that.

And sometimes those days are our fault.

My day was caused by a toxic client. As much as I would like to blame her, I take responsibility because I knew from the beginning that I never should have worked with her.

When we go down paths we shouldn't go down, we usually have painful consequences.

Several valuable lessons were learned today and I would like to share them so I don't have to relearn them again in the future and maybe I can spare you some future pain too.

1. Be careful when doing business with people whose values don't align with yours

2. When you feel you should get out of a situation, do not delay

3. Never do any type of work that leaves you feeling your values were compromised

4. Toxic people can play nice... for awhile... But their true colors will always show through in the end

5. Trust your instincts

6. When you turn a situation over to God, it doesn't mean the way out will be pain free

And finally remember, some days feel like terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days, but it doesn't have to stay like that.

Happy Friday!

I've been pondering this a lot in the past week.


I've been pondering this a lot in the past week.

I do a lot of work in the mental health space. I believe in the benefits of therapy and medication as needed. 

But as I help people share this message that "therapy is for everyone," I'm starting to wonder if we are spreading the wrong message.

Yes therapy can be for everyone. And there are some people who absolutely need the support and guidance of mental health professionals. But does everyone actually need therapy to be mentally well? 

That seems to be the trend we have taken as society.

Therapy can play an important role in helping people heal and live healthy, but are we becoming too dependent on believing we ALL need therapy? Have we lost the ability to process through difficult situations on our own or with our own support system?

I'm not sure. I'm still pondering. But I would love to hear your thoughts.


We see what we look for.

In our first house, we h
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In our first house, we had beautiful sunrises and sunsets over farm fields. A few years ago we lived by the ocean where we saw stunning sunsets regularly over the water. 

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I was up early this morning and decided to sit outside and enjoy the cooler air and I had the opportunity to watch an incredible sunrise from this small little section.

It reminded me that we often get what we look for in life. If you want to see all the bad, you will. If you look for the good, you can find it. And just because we don't see good things happening at every moment (like I don't usually see the sunrises) doesn't mean they aren't still happening all around us.

#thankfulgratefulblessed #tuesdaythoughts #beencouraged


Wow! So true.

I came across this incredible remi
Wow! So true. 

I came across this incredible reminder in an email today from @lysaterkeurst and @proverbs31ministires.

Yesterday was a rough day. I got myself into a difficult conversation with someone and ended up saying things that I regret out of my frustration.

Too many times in life I have allowed my emotions to get the best of me which never ends in me feeling better than I did in the beginning. Carefully planned words are ALWAYS better than speaking in the heat of the moment.

Sometimes we need to say difficult things to people, but we can choose to do it out of love instead of frustration and anger.

So, I cannot control the actions of others or many details of this specific situation, but I can control my words in the midst of it, and I can control how much power I allow the situation to have over my life.

Sharing in case my failure can help anyone else do better.

#workinprogress #stilllearning


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The power of our minds and the way we choose to think is amazing!

A couple weeks ago on vacation, we had the chance to hold a baby alligator. There were grown people on the boat who were terrified to sit next to a person holding the alligator. Then there were those, like Macy, who took advantage of a new opportunity and gave it a go.

If we really think about it, this is exactly what happens in life too. Some people are too afraid to take a risk and try something new when the opportunity comes and others are willing to give it a try. 

Some are afraid to let their friends and family try a new adventure because their own fear is so strong so they discourage them from doing the thing even if that person really wants to try it.

Our minds and our thoughts are so incredibly powerful but the good news is that we get to choose our thoughts and actions. A new situation may feel scary, but that doesn't mean you can't choose to move past that fear and try something new.

#tryingnewthings #overcomingfear #chooseyourthoughts

Have you ever thought about how a click of a camer
Have you ever thought about how a click of a camera button has the ability to capture a moment in time? Pretty amazing!

We always make a point to take pictures of the big moments or the things we do when we travel, like our day trip to Nashville yesterday.

But there are so many day-to-day moments that make my heart happy too, like seeing my daughters cooking dinner (which they choose to do a lot - blessed mom right here!) or when my husband is helping the girls build garden planters for our veggies. I need to make an effort to take pictures of these moments more so I can be reminded of these simple joys. The days seem long but the years are going fast!

What is something you see in day-to-day life that brings you joy?

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Do you ever just wish you had a quiet moment alone?

I loved this little bit of time I had on our Tennessee vacation, sitting on the porch swing listening to the rain.

I'm guilty of filling my day too full and trying to do too much and tiring myself out.

This morning I was reminded of Luke 5:7 "But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed."

It's important to be intentional about creating space to withdrawal and pray.

Some days it looks and sounds pretty. Most days, it's finding the one quiet place in my house. All that matters is that we do it.

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Y
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Yesterday I had the pleasure of chatting with several different women. I'm getting ready to write website profiles for them and wanted to learn more about them.

I noticed something that got me thinking during one of the calls. 

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It made me really reflect on my actions, words, and behaviors to see if I was helping or hurting others. It made me think about what areas of my life I needed to walk in healing so I could help bring others along.

I also love the way this shifted from the negative to the positive. "Hurting people hurt people" can be used as an excuse if you've experienced pain in your life. "Healed people heal people" is so much more of a calling to rise up out of painful situations to make a positive difference. It gives your hurtful experiences and pain a new purpose. 

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Can you relate?  
 
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If you ever watch a gang of meerkats, you'll probably notice that there is almost always one meerkat that is standing up checking the skies and looking around while the others are off doing their thing. Why? 
 
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On this trip, I could relate to that poor little meerkat standing up, not enjoying herself in order to try to protect her family—not realizing they are safe from predators. As a wife and mom, I think that instinct comes pretty naturally to us women. I've been so caught up lately in trying to figure out how to balance what the different members of my family need that it's been harder to enjoy the good things in each day.  
 
But I'm not a meerkat. There really aren't predators circling around me, trying to get my family. Yes, there are dangers in this world, but when that's all I focus on, that's all I see. I miss all of the good things that are taking place and the positive moments I could be enjoying. 
 
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Sometimes we feel stuck in life because of things that are within our control.

You can't control what others do to you... but you can control what you choose to do after that. If you're holding onto unforgiveness towards someone, it's going to seep into all areas of your life.

Being easily offended and staying offended and angry gives things outside of your control power over you, your day, and your attitude.

If you're tired of not making progress in life and often feel angry, I encourage you to look inward. Sometimes I'm caught off guard by the things I thought I had dealt with and moved on from that I didn't.

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#fallcolors🍁🍂 #louisvillezoo

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My dad has been an incredible example of just asking. He doesn't overthink asking questions to people and because of it, he learns all kinds of cool things. He doesn't worry about if the person says "no" or responds negatively. He doesn't let fear stop him. 

Over the years, my husband and I have learned to ask for things we want. We asked for work from a church without knowing if they would be interested. We asked to barter handyman services and home repair in exchange for lower rent. 

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Are there questions you've been avoiding asking out of fear?

This.

It's so easy to avoid growth and change bec
This.

It's so easy to avoid growth and change because it's uncomfortable and painful. But so many times the life we want is on the other side.

#motivation #thursdaythoughts #growthmindset #growingpains #pushpastthehardthings


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I'm giving you a sneak peek into what my incredible workspace looks like today 😜 
 
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It sucks to hear, but you have to get started before you're "ready". That's just the way it works. Don't let your circumstances get in your way. And - this might sound tough but - stop making excuses. Look for a way to make it work as best you can right now. 
 
 
 
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This quote rings so true to me. A little over 4 ye
This quote rings so true to me. A little over 4 years ago, I had such little confidence. I let fear control so much of what I did.

I was working to grow my freelance business and almost skipped an opportunity to take on work because the potential client wanted to schedule a phone call instead of just working through emails and messages. I broke out in hives just having to talk on the phone.

I couldn't handle ordering a pizza because I was too nervous about not knowing what to say. I overthought everything.

Fear controlled what I did and didn't do. It caused me to struggle in my thoughts and postponed my ability to go after the things I really wanted to accomplish.

Learning to overcome my fears took a lot of time. But slowly, I started to make progress. They were little changes at a time. I didn't even notice the growth as it happened. 

But then one day, that same client pointed out to me how much more confidence I had. And then another client mentioned how much I had grown in my confidence and ability to share my thoughts and opinions.

It ended up impacting every area of my life. 

But don't get me wrong, some days are still a struggle. Sometimes I still get hives when I have to talk on the phone or do a zoom call with someone I don't know, but not every time.

If you struggle with fear and confidence, know that you can improve and grow in this area. It doesn't have to be how you remain for the rest of your life. And so much of what you want is on the other side of pushing past that fear.

#overcomefear #buildconfidence #personalgrowth #growthmindset #motivationalquotes

Isn't it so easy to be happy and positive when you
Isn't it so easy to be happy and positive when you're on vacation? This picture is from over the summer when we did a mini vacation. It's easy when you get out of the routines of everyday life to start to think outside of the box and see new opportunities. 
 
But then we get back home. Clients need my attention. The house needs to be cleaned and dinner needs to be cooked. The kids have activities. And before I know it, I've fallen right back into going through the motions instead of really living each day. 
 
Here's your reminder for the day. I know it's Monday and it's easy to drag through the day. But choose to get outside of your comfort zone. Choose to look at things in a new way. Choose to start building the life you want to live, even if it's one tiny decision at a time. 
 
#mondaymotivation

Don't wait for the fear to go away. It's not going
Don't wait for the fear to go away. It's not going to. Choose courage and push past it and just watch as your confidence starts to build.


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