I have a confession… I am a yeller. And I hate it. I come from a loud family. They like to justify the yelling by saying “that’s just the way we are”. And, I believed this for a long time.
But, several years ago my eyes were opened to the fact that when people make these types of comments it is just excuses for behaving in a way that we shouldn’t. Have you ever heard a woman say, “I just tell it like it is and that’s how I am.” The majority of the time these women are the ones who end up offending a lot of people. They might be speaking the truth, but they are not doing so in love.
I realized that just because my family was loud, it didn’t mean that I needed to continue to be loud. So, I decided to make a change and to be 100% honest with you, I am struggling.
I am naturally a loud talker. My husband has to remind me constantly to lower my voice and I often end up apologizing in my Bible Study for talking so loud. When I talk in normal volume voice sometimes I feel like I am whispering. But, this isn’t the problem.
The problem is that I am a yeller. When I get frustrated or angry, I raise my voice. I hate this about myself. I hate when I realize that my kids aren’t listening to them because they respect me, but because I am yelling at them.
A few weeks ago I addressed this with my family. My daughters are taking after me and our family yells way too much. I sat everyone down and made a no yelling rule. By the end of the day I realized that I had yelled the entire day. I determined to make a positive change on my own and I guess I made myself a prime target for the devil.
It’s great to make changes, but it is much more effective when we include God in on the changes we are trying to make. So, I spent some time to compile a few verses to help me in this change with my mouth.
“May the words of my mouth and the mediation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.” – Psalms 19:14
“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” –Proverbs 15:1
“The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” –Proverbs 21:21
“Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.” – Proverbs 21:23
“Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” –Proverbs 16:24
“My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.” –James 1:19-20
This last verse is one of my favorites. If only everyone would follow these simple instructions, be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry, so many difficulties in life would be avoided. We would seek to listen and understand other people instead of trying so hard to make them listen to us.