You’ve probably heard that you need to respect your husband. However, in this modern day and age that sounds like a negative thing to a lot of wives. You might find yourself wondering why you need to show respect and maybe even how to show respect. I’m not going to lie, it’s something that I struggle with at times. And, it wasn’t until I really started doing my own research that I found out why it’s such a big deal.
Why you need to respect your husband
Dr. Eggerich writes in his book, Love & Respect, “No husband feels affection toward a wife who appears to have contempt for who he is as a human being. The key to creating fond feelings of love in a husband toward his wife is through showing him unconditional respect.”
Those are some pretty powerful words. I’m assuming that you want your husband to feel affection towards you because I know I do. But, you might be wondering “What if my husband isn’t doing anything to earn my respect?” I’ve been there before too. However, it’s your job as his wife to find things that you respect about him. Even if you have a hard time remembering what they were, there were things you respected about him in the beginning.
It’s part of your job as the wife
The truth is that we are called by God as wives to respect our husbands. Ephesians 5:33 says,” However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” The command to the wife is to “respect her husband”, not if he loves her or if he has a great paying job or if he acts like she wants him to or when he earns her respect in every way. None of that is included. It simply says to “respect her husband”.
So, what if your husband isn’t doing a lot at the moment to make you feel like showing him respect? What if he isn’t doing a lot that makes you naturally want to respect him? How do you show respect when you don’t feel like it?
Here are 20 simple ways to show your man respect in your daily conversations
- Make eye contact with him. See how that has nothing to do with what he’s doing to earn respect.
- Watch your body language. Lean in and show him that you are paying attention. Smile if the conversation is good. Nod to show you agree.
- Do NOT roll your eyes. You don’t like when your kids do it to you, so don’t do it to him.
- Do NOT sigh.
- Be in control of your emotions.
- Do NOT interrupt him.
- Do NOT allow your children to interrupt him.
- Ask questions. This helps you to get more information and keep the conversation going.
- Don’t be distracted. Put your phone down. Turn away from the computer or turn off the TV. Stop cutting the veggies for dinner. Do NOT try multitasking when you are listening to him.
- Do NOT preplan your response. While he is talking actually listen instead of trying to figure out what to say when it’s your turn to talk. That means you’re not listening no matter how hard you try to say that you are.
- Do NOT make assumptions. You know what happens when you assume, right? Exactly! You don’t necessarily know what he is thinking or feeling
- Do NOT give your input if he isn’t asking for your opinion.
- Look for opportunities to compliment him.
- Ask how you can help. Then, and this is the important part, do what he is asking if you are at all able to.
- Do NOT correct his grammar.
- Leave past issues in the past.
- Do NOT talk to him like a child. You are his wife, not his mother.
- Do NOT finish his sentences for him. You are not a mind reader and even if you know what he is going to say, let him say it.
- Do NOT nag him.
- Use your manners. Be polite, especially when you disagree.
It’s all about you
Do you see how all of these suggestions have nothing to do with what your husband is doing? Each of these can be applied to any husband, whether he has earned your respect or not. If you aren’t doing these things right now, your marriage will improve if you choose to start doing them every day. It’s as simple as that. Showing respect to your husband is not about what he is doing, it’s about what you are doing.
And, if all else fails and you can’t remember anything else during conversations with your husband then remind yourself of the old faithful Bambie quote, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all.”
What are some ways you choose to show your husband respect on a daily basis?