In his book Love & Respect, Dr. Eggerichs says, “No husband feels affection toward a wife who appears to have contempt for who he is as a human being. The key to creating fond feelings of love in a husband toward his wife is through showing him unconditional respect.” So, you might be wondering “What if my husband isn’t doing anything to earn my respect?” Dr. Eggerichs also writes, “There is no justification for a husband to say, ‘I will love my wife after she respects me’ nor for the wife to say, ‘I will respect my husband after he loves me.’”
The truth is that we are called by God as wives to respect our husbands. Ephesians 5:33 says,” However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” The command to the wife is to “respect her husband”, not if he loves her or if he has a great paying job or if he acts like she wants him to or when he earns her respect in every way; just simply to “respect her husband”.
What if your husband isn’t doing a lot at the moment to make you feel like showing him respect? What if he isn’t doing a lot that makes you naturally want to respect him at the moment? How do you show respect when you don’t feel like it?
Here are 20 simple ways to show your man respect in your daily conversations
- Make eye contact with him.
- Watch your body language. Lean in and show him that you are paying attention. Smile if the conversation is good. Nod to show you agree.
- Do NOT roll your eyes.
- Do NOT sigh.
- Do NOT interrupt him.
- Do NOT allow your children to interrupt him.
- Ask questions to get more information and to keep the conversation going.
- Put your phone down, turn away from the computer, turn off the TV, stop cutting the veggies; do NOT try multitasking when you are listening to him.
- Do NOT plan out what you are going to say when he is still talking.
- Do NOT assume you know what he is thinking or feeling
- Do NOT give your input if he isn’t asking for your opinion.
- Be in control of your emotions.
- Look for opportunities to compliment him.
- Ask how you can help and then do what he is asking if you are at all able to.
- Leave past issues in the past.
- Do NOT correct his grammar.
- Do NOT talk to him like a child or act like his mother.
- Do NOT finish his sentences for him. You are not a mind reader and even if you know what he is going to say, let him say it.
- Do NOT nag him.
- Use your manners and be polite, especially when you disagree.
If you can’t remember anything else during conversations with your husband then remind yourself of the old faithful Bambie quote, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all.”
What are some ways your choose to show your husband respect on a daily basis?