If you are in an abusive marriage, this article does not apply. While some of these books might be helpful, it is important that you seek help in the right places and make sure that you and your children if you have them are safe. Focus on the Family has an article with advice for if you are in an abusive marriage.
Sometimes it just feels like marriage sucks. It might feel like your life didn’t end up the way you wanted it to. Maybe you screwed it up. Maybe your spouse screwed it up. In the end it doesn’t really matter whose fault it is, you are unhappy, maybe even thinking about calling it quits.
My marriage has been there in more times and in ways that I would ever have thought it would be, but there is hope! I believe that any marriage can be saved, with God’s help, and if you are willing to do some work. The work might be making changes in yourself and asking forgiveness or it might be the hard work of granting forgiveness and letting go of the bitterness. Everyone has a different story, but most of the processes to fix it are pretty much the same.
While being stuck in this stage of my marriage I read lots of books that really helped me to open my eyes and see things differently. Some of them I have highlighted on the blog before, but they are just too good to not include.
- The 5 Love Languages – This book helps you learn some of the reasons why you might not feel loved, see some of the ways your husband might be showing you love that you are missing, and find out the right way to show love to your husband (hint: it isn’t the same for everyone).
- Sheet Music – Let’s face it, sex is an important, strike that, crucial part of marriage. If you believe otherwise, there is a serious problem in your marriage and you just haven’t realized it yet. This book is very straightforward and addresses points for both the husband and wife, but I found it to be very beneficial to read the whole thing.
- Becoming the Woman of His Dreams – This book teaches ways to improve your marriage, and the first lesson is learning that you can only focus on what you can do. She teaches about the different things that every man wants in his marriage and how it will benefit you too if you will be that woman for your man.
- Sacred Marriage. This book has some extreme opinions, but great ones. It is a tough read because it gives good lessons and isn’t written just to make you feel good. It walks through the whole scenario “what if God designed marriage to make you holy and not happy?” It gave me a whole new perspective on marriage.
- The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People - I’ll be honest, I’m still reading this one, but loving it the whole time. It is taking me longer to get through because there are so many great learning points. Let’s face it, if we are being an effective person our marriage is going to benefit. If we are always playing catch-up in life and giving our spouse the place of controlling how we feel about life, we are going to be a hot mess all the time!
These are just 5 of my favorites. The one thing I stick to when looking for a book to help me through a rough time or point me in the right direction, is making sure that it is a Christian based book. I’m not saying there aren’t great books out there that are not faith-based, but when I’m feeling down and in a tough place it’s better for me to protect what goes into my mind and I have found this to be a great way to control it.
What are some books that have helped your marriage through the rough times?