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5 Reasons Every Woman Should Step Out of Her Comfort Zone

September 13, 2020 By Stephanie 5 Comments

13 Sep

Don’t you love being comfortable? It could be that moment in the morning when you’re still lying in bed and the air is crisp in your room but the blankets are just right. Or maybe it’s putting on that pair of jeans that are a little too worn looking but are so perfectly broken in. Or that cozy fire crackling in the fireplace when the snow if falling outside and you’re snuggled up on the couch with your crazy kids running around.

Comfortable can be ‘oh so good’ at times.

But there’s another side of comfort too

Have you ever had a couch that’s gotten old. You’ve had it for a long time, and you always love to sit in the same place. The cushion seems to have created a special place just for your bottom.  It’s so comfortable because it’s like that spot was made for you.

comfort zone

But what happens when you try to get up out of that spot?

It’s kind of hard. You may feel a little stuck.

That comfortable spot that the cushion has reserved just for your butt can seem to be holding on. It doesn’t want you to stand up. It wants you to just keep sitting.

You may have to grab the arm of the couch or really work to get yourself up and out of that comfortable sunken cushion that you’ve been sitting on.

That’s the downside of comfort that can impact your personal life too 

When we create a life that we’re comfortable with, it can feel good. We have routines that we know. There aren’t many surprises. We know exactly what to expect. 

It’s comfortable. And sometimes that can be good. 

But then there are times when that comfortable life stops you from pursuing things that you really desire to do. That comfort keeps calling your name and stopping you from trying new things or exploring your opportunities. 

Sometimes, that comfort can keep you stuck.

I believe, as women, that it’s so important for us to learn how to step out of our comfort zones. Here’s why:

1. It shows you areas where you can improve

If you only do things that you already know you’re good at, you’ll never be challenged to get better. Trying new things provides an opportunity to learn things that you could get better at. 

We should always be learning, growing, and developing in different areas throughout life. I don’t care how old you are. If you’re not moving forward then you’re moving backwards. 

There is no staying in place. 

The world around us is constantly changing and adapting. If you don’t adapt with it, things will become harder for you. 

And, no, I don’t mean adapt values or morals or anything like that. I’m talking about continuing to learn new technology, try new things, and expand your knowledge in different areas. 

2. You learn that you’re stronger than you thought

When you’re inside your comfort zone, it’s easy to think things like:

  • There’s no way I could ever do that.
  • I’m not sure how that woman is so brave to try that. 
  • Maybe I could have tried that 10 years ago, but not now.

But when you take the step and try something new—something outside of your comfort zone—you just may discover that you’re so much stronger than you thought. 

You may feel like you’ll drop dead if you have to get up and give a speech in front of a hundred people, but if you do it, I think it’s safe to say that you will survive. And when you do, you’ll see that you’re capable of more than you imagined. 

The more you step outside of your comfort zone, the stronger you’ll find that you are. 

3. You’ll discover opportunities that you didn’t know existed

When you start to try new things, go new places, or talk to new people, you’ll discover that so many opportunities existed that you never even dreamed of. 

Here’s an example. Back in 2010, my husband and I took our kids (we only had 2 back then) to Disney World for the first time. It  was the most amazing experience. We started going back every year. After a few years, I started to wonder what it would take to be a Disney Travel Agent. 

After a little research, and applying to several travel agencies, I found one that let me work with them. Just like that, I was planning Disney vacations for people. It was amazing, but it didn’t stop there. 

The travel agency was connected with a popular Disney fan blog. As a travel agent, I was able to write the occasional blog posts for the website. Then one time while I was in line for a ride at Magic Kingdom, the owner of the website called to ask if I’d be interested in writing regular blog posts. 

This experience led me to learning that I could get paid to write blog posts, which was something I loved to do. All of this led to me eventually starting Rising River Marketing, a content marketing business focused on working with helping professionals. 

Planning a very expensive vacation back in 2010 felt a little out of my comfort zone. Contacting travel agencies to see if someone would let me work for them, was way out of my comfort zone. But it opened so many doors for me and created numerous opportunities that I might not have had otherwise. 

You just never know how one little thing that you do might snowball into some of the best opportunities that you’ve ever had. And all you have to do to is take that first small step to get the process going.

4. You can be an example for others

I think a lot of women struggle with stepping out of their comfort zone. There are a lot of excuses that they come up with. I’ve used them too. And some even sound pretty legitimate:

  • I don’t have time while the kids are little. 
  • I’m not even sure how to get started with that. 
  • Other people are already doing that, so it would be a waste of my time. 
  • I’m too busy. 
  • I don’t have enough money. 
  • My husband isn’t supportive of that. 
  • What would other people think if I did that? 
  • I’m too old. 

In a lot of situations, these excuses sound and feel completely legitimate. But I think a lot of women fail to realize that everyone has a big bag of excuses that they could use. 

The women that get things done and try new things aren’t the ones that don’t have any obstacles. They’re the ones that don’t let those obstacles become an excuse not to do it. 

What if you could be the example for another woman in your community? In your church? In your workplace? What if you could be the example for your daughters? Or your granddaughters?

be an example for your daughter

When you start stepping out of your comfort zone, trying new things, and growing in new ways, other women will notice. And some may be inspired to step out of their comfort zone as well. 

5. You only live once

You know it’s true. We’re each only given one life to live. Some women live a life full of adventure. They travel to different countries, try exotic foods, meet new people and challenge their comfort zone on a regular basis. 

Other women, stay comfortable. They build a nice life for themselves. They find what they’re good at and then don’t try anything else. 

If a good opportunity comes up, but it’s a little intimidating, they make an excuse. If someone invites them to do something they’ve never done before, they justify why they “can’t” do it. 

I’m not against creating a life where you have comfort. I’m not at all saying that women need to run around the world seeking adventure. 

But I do believe many of you who aren’t challenging yourselves, those of you that have settled into comfortable, have this nagging voice inside of you that says there is more you could be doing.

I know from personal experience because I had that voice inside of me for a long time. Sometimes, when I start to settle in, I hear it again. 

We each only get one life. When it’s done, it’s done. There’s nothing that we can do to buy more time when our time is up. But there is so much that we can do with the time we do have. 

I went skydiving

My husband and I have talked for years about wanting to go skydiving. I think we both thought it was one of those things that we’d talk about and never do. But when he turned 39 last year, I started thinking about what I could do for his 40th birthday that would be memorable. 

He was not looking forward to this milestone birthday, so I thought, “Why not do something unforgettable? Why not cross off a bucket list item?”

So, I surprised him by having two of his brothers come into town and we all went skydiving together. 

Talk about leaving your comfort zone.

I was super excited and thought it was going to be amazing. I thought it was going to be such an incredible experience. And I wasn’t even worried… until this moment:

Looking down from 10,000 ft in the air, while the sound of the wind deafens just about anything that was being said, was when I realized I wasn’t sure what I had gotten myself into.

But before I knew it, my instructor said the words he had prepared me for… “Ready, set…”. We yelled “Go!” together as we toppled out the side of the airplane.

Not only was I not in my comfort zone, I was so far out of it that I didn’t even remember that it existed.

I don’t think that I’m usually much of a panicker, but I panicked! I screamed like I never have in my life. Then, when I ran out of air, I sucked in more (which was easy because it was flowing in my mouth so quickly), and screamed again. And it wasn’t an “I’m-having-so-much-fun-this-is-awesome” scream either. It was more like an “I-think-I’m-going-to-die-and-I-can’t-see-what’s-happening-because-I’m-falling-so-fast!” type of scream.

I felt like I couldn’t control where my arms or legs were going. I struggled to see my altimeter to know when to pull the cord. Thank goodness my instructor was amazing. He knew exactly what to do, when to do it, and he even knew how to handle me and all of my craziness.

It wasn’t what I expected

The entire thing was not the enjoyable experience that I expected. Once the parachute opened I alternated between screams and nervous laughter. My entire body was stiff.

Calm and cool were the last things on my mind.

It wasn’t what I expected. It was a whirlwind. I was scared pretty much the entire time. Something that none of the YouTube videos I had watched before the big day had prepared me for.

But then I landed.

That’s the face of total happiness from being on the ground. It was pure joy and laughter. The experience was over and I had survived.

In the days following, I was disappointed. I felt like I had failed at it. I felt that I should have done so much better. And I was so focused on the fact that it didn’t feel like I expected it to, that I was missing the incredible experience that I did have.

But then, I see this picture. And I’m reminded of that moment when I landed and that feeling of being so proud of myself for actually doing it. It was crazy. It was unexpected. And it was good.

Stepping out of your comfort zone doesn’t always feel good in the moment.

You may feel scared and nervous. That feeling doesn’t always go away after you take the first step. To be honest, it may even get a little worse when you’re in the middle.

Throughout the entire experience, you may feel like you failed. But you didn’t, simply because you took the step.

You tried something new. You survived. And I’ll almost guarantee that you will have learned something about yourself.

So how about you? Have you been staying in your comfort zone for far too long? Share one thing in the comments that you’re going to do that forces you to get out of it and try something new.

Filed Under: Personal Growth

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Юрий says

    September 14, 2020 at 6:41 pm

    “Разум, однажды расширивший свои границы, никогда не воротится в исходные.” – говорил А. Эйнштейн. Превеликое спасибо за то, что Вы, своими материалами, позволяете уму перешагнуть за рубежи имеющихся границ.

    Reply
  2. Cheryl Hogg says

    September 16, 2020 at 11:46 am

    WOW!! Excellent writing Stephanie! You took me on your journey…I could almost feel the wind & fall!
    Thank you for sharing your experience & for encouraging us to step out of our comfort zone!
    Love you BUNCHES!!

    Reply
  3. Vlad says

    September 22, 2021 at 12:35 pm

    Curious.

    Reply
  4. Lisa Nelson says

    January 16, 2022 at 10:02 am

    The one thing that struck out, that makes this different than other articles I’ve read about trying new things, is how you didn’t focus on how wonderful of an experience it was, but instead the growth that came from it.
    Thank you for reminding us that we won’t know if we’ll like something until we try it, and even if we don’t end up liking it, there is growth that happens because of taking that first step…or in your case that amazing jump!

    Reply
    • Lisa nelson says

      January 16, 2022 at 10:05 am

      Just realized I didn’t add what I’ll try to get me out of the rut I’m in.. I’m not sure right now, but your article has me thinking…

      Reply

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Stuck in Your Rut - Stephanie


Today has been a terrible, horrible, no good, very
Today has been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. 

Some days are like that.

And sometimes those days are our fault.

My day was caused by a toxic client. As much as I would like to blame her, I take responsibility because I knew from the beginning that I never should have worked with her.

When we go down paths we shouldn't go down, we usually have painful consequences.

Several valuable lessons were learned today and I would like to share them so I don't have to relearn them again in the future and maybe I can spare you some future pain too.

1. Be careful when doing business with people whose values don't align with yours

2. When you feel you should get out of a situation, do not delay

3. Never do any type of work that leaves you feeling your values were compromised

4. Toxic people can play nice... for awhile... But their true colors will always show through in the end

5. Trust your instincts

6. When you turn a situation over to God, it doesn't mean the way out will be pain free

And finally remember, some days feel like terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days, but it doesn't have to stay like that.

Happy Friday!

I've been pondering this a lot in the past week.


I've been pondering this a lot in the past week.

I do a lot of work in the mental health space. I believe in the benefits of therapy and medication as needed. 

But as I help people share this message that "therapy is for everyone," I'm starting to wonder if we are spreading the wrong message.

Yes therapy can be for everyone. And there are some people who absolutely need the support and guidance of mental health professionals. But does everyone actually need therapy to be mentally well? 

That seems to be the trend we have taken as society.

Therapy can play an important role in helping people heal and live healthy, but are we becoming too dependent on believing we ALL need therapy? Have we lost the ability to process through difficult situations on our own or with our own support system?

I'm not sure. I'm still pondering. But I would love to hear your thoughts.


We see what we look for.

In our first house, we h
We see what we look for.

In our first house, we had beautiful sunrises and sunsets over farm fields. A few years ago we lived by the ocean where we saw stunning sunsets regularly over the water. 

Beautiful sunrises and sunsets is one the things I've missed since living in a neighborhood in a suburb of Louisville Kentucky. The trees around us block out most of these beautiful moments every morning and night.

I was up early this morning and decided to sit outside and enjoy the cooler air and I had the opportunity to watch an incredible sunrise from this small little section.

It reminded me that we often get what we look for in life. If you want to see all the bad, you will. If you look for the good, you can find it. And just because we don't see good things happening at every moment (like I don't usually see the sunrises) doesn't mean they aren't still happening all around us.

#thankfulgratefulblessed #tuesdaythoughts #beencouraged


Wow! So true.

I came across this incredible remi
Wow! So true. 

I came across this incredible reminder in an email today from @lysaterkeurst and @proverbs31ministires.

Yesterday was a rough day. I got myself into a difficult conversation with someone and ended up saying things that I regret out of my frustration.

Too many times in life I have allowed my emotions to get the best of me which never ends in me feeling better than I did in the beginning. Carefully planned words are ALWAYS better than speaking in the heat of the moment.

Sometimes we need to say difficult things to people, but we can choose to do it out of love instead of frustration and anger.

So, I cannot control the actions of others or many details of this specific situation, but I can control my words in the midst of it, and I can control how much power I allow the situation to have over my life.

Sharing in case my failure can help anyone else do better.

#workinprogress #stilllearning


The power of our minds and the way we choose to th
The power of our minds and the way we choose to think is amazing!

A couple weeks ago on vacation, we had the chance to hold a baby alligator. There were grown people on the boat who were terrified to sit next to a person holding the alligator. Then there were those, like Macy, who took advantage of a new opportunity and gave it a go.

If we really think about it, this is exactly what happens in life too. Some people are too afraid to take a risk and try something new when the opportunity comes and others are willing to give it a try. 

Some are afraid to let their friends and family try a new adventure because their own fear is so strong so they discourage them from doing the thing even if that person really wants to try it.

Our minds and our thoughts are so incredibly powerful but the good news is that we get to choose our thoughts and actions. A new situation may feel scary, but that doesn't mean you can't choose to move past that fear and try something new.

#tryingnewthings #overcomingfear #chooseyourthoughts

Have you ever thought about how a click of a camer
Have you ever thought about how a click of a camera button has the ability to capture a moment in time? Pretty amazing!

We always make a point to take pictures of the big moments or the things we do when we travel, like our day trip to Nashville yesterday.

But there are so many day-to-day moments that make my heart happy too, like seeing my daughters cooking dinner (which they choose to do a lot - blessed mom right here!) or when my husband is helping the girls build garden planters for our veggies. I need to make an effort to take pictures of these moments more so I can be reminded of these simple joys. The days seem long but the years are going fast!

What is something you see in day-to-day life that brings you joy?

Do you ever just wish you had a quiet moment alone
Do you ever just wish you had a quiet moment alone?

I loved this little bit of time I had on our Tennessee vacation, sitting on the porch swing listening to the rain.

I'm guilty of filling my day too full and trying to do too much and tiring myself out.

This morning I was reminded of Luke 5:7 "But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed."

It's important to be intentional about creating space to withdrawal and pray.

Some days it looks and sounds pretty. Most days, it's finding the one quiet place in my house. All that matters is that we do it.

How do you talk about and think about yourself?

Y
How do you talk about and think about yourself?

Yesterday I had the pleasure of chatting with several different women. I'm getting ready to write website profiles for them and wanted to learn more about them.

I noticed something that got me thinking during one of the calls. 

I asked the question "Who do you enjoy working with?"

The woman gave me a long list of the people she didn't feel qualified to help. She shared her heart for people but would then explain the areas she felt she was lacking. 

I'm sure she didn't realize she was doing this. I know I struggle with doing the same thing. It's so easy to spot in other people what we miss in ourselves. 

So, how do you think and talk about yourself? Do you focus on where you are lacking and where you don't feel "good enough" or qualified? Or, do you acknowledge your skills and strengths? 

We all have areas we can grow and improve but we are unproductive when those are the main areas we focus on.

#focusonyourstrengths #thoughtlife #positivethinking #buildconfidence


I was reading the book Friendship - It's Complicat
I was reading the book Friendship - It's Complicated by @andiandrew this morning and came across the saying "healed people heal people." It really struck me.

I've heard many times the old saying "hurting people hurt people" but this simple switch made it so different. 

It made me really reflect on my actions, words, and behaviors to see if I was helping or hurting others. It made me think about what areas of my life I needed to walk in healing so I could help bring others along.

I also love the way this shifted from the negative to the positive. "Hurting people hurt people" can be used as an excuse if you've experienced pain in your life. "Healed people heal people" is so much more of a calling to rise up out of painful situations to make a positive difference. It gives your hurtful experiences and pain a new purpose. 

Just something to think about.

#encouragement #movepastyourpast #womensupportingwomen

Let's talk about meerkats for a minute—stick wit
Let's talk about meerkats for a minute—stick with me here.  
 
On Thursday, I took my kids to the zoo for a few hours. We've had an exhausting couple of weeks. Things haven't gone as planned. Work has been hectic and I've been working long hours. We're in the middle of trying to make some big life decisions again (which seems to be the constant state of life).  
 
Can you relate?  
 
The zoo is one of our happy places, so we picked the warmest day of the week and took some time off to get outside and enjoy ourselves.  
 
Some of my favorite animals to watch at the zoo are the meerkats. 
 
If you ever watch a gang of meerkats, you'll probably notice that there is almost always one meerkat that is standing up checking the skies and looking around while the others are off doing their thing. Why? 
 
That meerkat is watching for danger. They are checking the skies and surrounding areas for predators. They remain alert in order to allow the others to find food and do what they need to do. 
 
On this trip, I could relate to that poor little meerkat standing up, not enjoying herself in order to try to protect her family—not realizing they are safe from predators. As a wife and mom, I think that instinct comes pretty naturally to us women. I've been so caught up lately in trying to figure out how to balance what the different members of my family need that it's been harder to enjoy the good things in each day.  
 
But I'm not a meerkat. There really aren't predators circling around me, trying to get my family. Yes, there are dangers in this world, but when that's all I focus on, that's all I see. I miss all of the good things that are taking place and the positive moments I could be enjoying. 
 
So, if you can relate to that little meerkat too, here's your reminder to take a break. Be present in the moment.

There are hard parenting days - which we've had qu
There are hard parenting days - which we've had quite a bit of lately - and then there are the days when your kid surprises you with a homemade card. 

The world is full of scary, hard things right now and it's easy when you focus on those things to forget all the good that is right around you.

I'm getting started so I can be organized and on m
I'm getting started so I can be organized and on my game for 2022 thanks to help from my new planner by @christybwright

Sometimes we feel stuck in life because of things
Sometimes we feel stuck in life because of things that are within our control.

You can't control what others do to you... but you can control what you choose to do after that. If you're holding onto unforgiveness towards someone, it's going to seep into all areas of your life.

Being easily offended and staying offended and angry gives things outside of your control power over you, your day, and your attitude.

If you're tired of not making progress in life and often feel angry, I encourage you to look inward. Sometimes I'm caught off guard by the things I thought I had dealt with and moved on from that I didn't.

#movingforward #dontbeeasilyoffended #inspiration #armorofgodstudy

There are few things I find as beautiful in nature
There are few things I find as beautiful in nature as a tree with fall colors on a bright sunny day. ❤️🍁

#fallcolors🍁🍂 #louisvillezoo

It can be so hard to ask for things that we want.
It can be so hard to ask for things that we want. The fear of the "what ifs" always want to get in the way. But what if we change our thoughts and expect the best instead of assuming the worst?

My dad has been an incredible example of just asking. He doesn't overthink asking questions to people and because of it, he learns all kinds of cool things. He doesn't worry about if the person says "no" or responds negatively. He doesn't let fear stop him. 

Over the years, my husband and I have learned to ask for things we want. We asked for work from a church without knowing if they would be interested. We asked to barter handyman services and home repair in exchange for lower rent. 

We've asked for some weird things that don't seem like they should have worked out, but they did. And we would have never had those opportunities if we hadn't been willing to ask for them.

Are there questions you've been avoiding asking out of fear?

This.

It's so easy to avoid growth and change bec
This.

It's so easy to avoid growth and change because it's uncomfortable and painful. But so many times the life we want is on the other side.

#motivation #thursdaythoughts #growthmindset #growingpains #pushpastthehardthings


What if you don't wait to get started until everyt
What if you don't wait to get started until everything is perfect? What would that look like? 
 
I'm giving you a sneak peek into what my incredible workspace looks like today 😜 
 
Today I have a few calls so I'm working with my messy bed as my desk so I can have a quiet space. Sometimes I work from my kitchen counter. My family of 5 lives in a small rental house right now. I don't have any space for an office, but I'm running a growing business by working like this. 
 
If I had waited to get started until I "knew everything" or had the perfect setup, I would have wasted the last 5 years. If I had waited until I "knew just a little more" or felt a "little more ready", I still wouldn't be doing anything. Even after 5 years, I still have LOTS to learn but I'm so much further along because I took the step of getting started.
 
It sucks to hear, but you have to get started before you're "ready". That's just the way it works. Don't let your circumstances get in your way. And - this might sound tough but - stop making excuses. Look for a way to make it work as best you can right now. 
 
 
 
#getstarted #femaleentrepreneur #makeitwork #midweekmotivation #takeachance #mompreneur #homeschoolingentrepreneur #overcomefear #buildyourconfidence

This quote rings so true to me. A little over 4 ye
This quote rings so true to me. A little over 4 years ago, I had such little confidence. I let fear control so much of what I did.

I was working to grow my freelance business and almost skipped an opportunity to take on work because the potential client wanted to schedule a phone call instead of just working through emails and messages. I broke out in hives just having to talk on the phone.

I couldn't handle ordering a pizza because I was too nervous about not knowing what to say. I overthought everything.

Fear controlled what I did and didn't do. It caused me to struggle in my thoughts and postponed my ability to go after the things I really wanted to accomplish.

Learning to overcome my fears took a lot of time. But slowly, I started to make progress. They were little changes at a time. I didn't even notice the growth as it happened. 

But then one day, that same client pointed out to me how much more confidence I had. And then another client mentioned how much I had grown in my confidence and ability to share my thoughts and opinions.

It ended up impacting every area of my life. 

But don't get me wrong, some days are still a struggle. Sometimes I still get hives when I have to talk on the phone or do a zoom call with someone I don't know, but not every time.

If you struggle with fear and confidence, know that you can improve and grow in this area. It doesn't have to be how you remain for the rest of your life. And so much of what you want is on the other side of pushing past that fear.

#overcomefear #buildconfidence #personalgrowth #growthmindset #motivationalquotes

Isn't it so easy to be happy and positive when you
Isn't it so easy to be happy and positive when you're on vacation? This picture is from over the summer when we did a mini vacation. It's easy when you get out of the routines of everyday life to start to think outside of the box and see new opportunities. 
 
But then we get back home. Clients need my attention. The house needs to be cleaned and dinner needs to be cooked. The kids have activities. And before I know it, I've fallen right back into going through the motions instead of really living each day. 
 
Here's your reminder for the day. I know it's Monday and it's easy to drag through the day. But choose to get outside of your comfort zone. Choose to look at things in a new way. Choose to start building the life you want to live, even if it's one tiny decision at a time. 
 
#mondaymotivation

Don't wait for the fear to go away. It's not going
Don't wait for the fear to go away. It's not going to. Choose courage and push past it and just watch as your confidence starts to build.


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